Crush (18+)

Chapter 33

I was right. Noah had no interest in me working for him, all this time he just wanted back what was once his. Me, he wanted me back. I knew I shouldn't have come to his office today. I knew that Noah Adams was a selfish man who wanted what he wanted, even though he might hurt other people in the process. I was highly convinced he didn't even give a crap about me as a person or he would have listened to what I just told him. No, all he wanted me for was my body and the fact that I was an easy target maybe.

I looked down at my body and I realized that it wasn't even that special. Sure, I had the right curves in the right places and I probably had my Latina mom to thank for that but it was nothing special. Noah is a handsome man, he could get any woman he wanted. Women who actually took care of their body and go to the gym a few times a week.

Suddenly I realized what I was doing and I looked up again. I was downgrading my body in order to understand what Noah was seeing in me. No men was worth downgrading and questioning your own body for, not even Noah. I wondered if he had made me question more things about myself in the past or if this was the first time.

My eyes finally met his after his big announcement that he was going to get me back no matter what and I couldn't help but snort. I surprised both him and myself with that but I didn't care that my reaction was nothing like he thought it was going to be. What did he expect? That I would spontaneously get on my knees and suck him off while he would grab my hair and lean against his office desk while watching my every move? Nah, it just wasn't happening.

'I don't know if you're aware Mr Adams, but I'm not some kind of object you can claim as your own. I know that might be hard to hear for you but please, get over yourself. I guess I'm just not feeling you anymore,' I said as I shrugged casually.

I was hoping that he would finally take the hint and let me go, which he of course didn't. There's a lot you could say about Noah Adams, but he definitely is man of his word and he wasn't joking when he said he wanted what he wanted.

I watched him with big eyes as he pushed himself off of his desk and slowly approached me. When he was standing in front of me, we were just a few inches apart. With fearful eyes I watched him as he brought his hand to my cheek and I wasn't sure why I hadn't pushed him away already. It was as if his touch mesmerized me. His hand softly caressed the skin of my cheek and I almost wanted to close my eyes because it felt so good.

It felt so good but it was so wrong. That sentence described everything Noah and I ever had and that is why I knew I had to stop it now. I put my hand over Noah's and let it stay there for a few more seconds. I missed being touched so gently and I missed having someone kiss every inch of my body. Yet here Noah was, practically offering it to me and I didn't want it. If Noah would be anybody else right now, I would have kissed him without blinking. The problem was that it was Noah and I just couldn't make that mistake again.

I removed Noah's hand from my skin and I shook my head. 'We can't. I can't... Sorry,' I mumbled and I wasn't sure why I was apologizing. My body was trembling and everything inside me was burning. I tried to ignore the feeling that was obviously there and I realized that Noah still had a huge effect on me. I wanted to cry even thinking about it.

I cleared me throat and quickly grabbed my bag. 'I better go,' I said and before I could even head to the door, Noah stopped me once again. 'Come work for me Valeria. The pay is really good. You could use the money for NYU,' Noah spoke up. I wanted to ask how he knew I was going to apply for NYU again but then I realized Noah always had his ways in finding out things about me. It was probably better if I didn't ask.

Noah was probably right and I hated it. With the money I earned at the flower shop I wasn't even close to being able to pay for a college tuition. I thought about it for a second before looking at Noah. 'I will let you know by the end of the week. Where is my contract?'

I could see how he was suppressing a smile as he handed me the contract. He was happy he got his way once again. I wasn't doing this for him though, I just needed the money. Working in a large company like this was a once in a lifetime opportunity for someone with a lack of experience like me, it would be stupid of me not to take it. I had no idea why Noah wanted me to work for him in the first place, although it had probably something to do with getting me in bed.

With the contract in my hand, I took a few steps back and I wasn't going to let him stop me from leaving this time. All he did was look at me with those intense eyes and a small grin on his face. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction that he was in charge here, so I turned around and left his office without saying another word. Once I was sure I was out of his sight, I practically ran to the elevator and when the elevator door closed, I let out a deep breath.

It was over. Kind of. The plan was to never see him again after today which we all know didn't work out like I wanted it to. But I was confident that I could work for Noah without anything happening between us. Today I realized I still get smitten when he touched me but that doesn't mean things will automatically go back to how they used to be.

Just like Noah, I knew what I wanted and that was earning enough money to go to college and get the hell out of Los Angeles. Right now the only way I was going to do that was by working for the one person I swore to never see again. Like I had already said before, I am not doing this for him, I am doing this for me. Fuck him for thinking he could get straight into my pants. Unlike him, I changed and I am not that girl anymore.

Once I finally got home, I headed to the living room where Rafael and some other dude were sitting on the couch. 'Where's mom?' Was the first thing I asked my brother. He looked up and grinned as he saw me. 'Hello brother. How lovely to see you on this beautiful day! Have I ever told you how you handsome you actually are?' Rafael imitated what was supposed to sound like me, except it didn't. I rolled my eyes at him and waited for him to answer my question.

'Fine,' Rafael sighed, 'you're no fun. Mommy is grocery shopping I think. She said where she was going but I honestly didn't listen. Anyway, say hi to Alex.' I looked at the brown haired guy that was sitting next to my brother and I gave him a quick nod. 

'Hi.'

Alex smiled friendly at me and I wondered what the hell he was doing with my brother. Of course I could have warned him without telling him the exact reason why he should steer clear from Rafael but I have a feeling that Rafael won't tolerate that. I wasn't scared of my brother but I also didn't feel like fighting with him.

I returned Alex's smile and sat down next to Rafael on the couch. The couch wasn't that big but the three of us fit on it just fine. Rafael and Alex were playing some game on tv but I was too distracted to pay attention. All I could think about was Noah and his hand on my cheek. The truth is that I was horny okay? I haven't had sex in months. I closed my eyes and imagined Noah throwing me on his desk before getting on top of me and pushing his full length inside of me.

I felt guilty for even fantasizing about it but I needed something, even if it was just in my head. I knew that Noah and I could never go there again in real life, so all I had left were my fantasies. God, I sounded so pathetic. I guess I just really needed to get laid.

I texted Tina and asked if she wanted to go out tonight. I needed to get my mind off today and even though I wasn't going to tell her about anything that happened today, the company of my best friend and a few shots would definitely help with getting my mind off things. I was going to tell Tina about my new job soon, I just needed some time to figure out what exactly I was going to say. As far as Tina knows, I deleted the email I got from Noah's company and never paid any attention to it again. To say she's going to be shocked would be an understatement.

'You're extremely quiet. What's going on?' Rafael asked as he looked at me and I wanted to roll my eyes at him. Please don't pretend like you give a fuck. I shrugged, 'just a hard day at work.' It wasn't exactly a lie but it wasn't the truth either. I didn't care, my brother didn't deserve the truth anyway.

'You want me to kill someone?' Rafael laughed.

I looked at him deadpan and I would happily laugh along with him if I knew my brother wouldn't actually kill a person. Alex was here though and we couldn't have him suspect anything, so I fake smiled at Rafael instead. 

'Not before I kill you.'

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before you guys start freaking out, no Valeria is not a messed up killer like her brother :') she is just done with his shit and I honestly can't blame her hehe