Rick and Morty(Rick's shitty adventure alone and it gets Schwifty)

CHAPTER 1

  "(burp)come on morty one more adventure it will be quick morty,come on like 10 minutes(burp)-morty,just in and out?!"Rick said holding morty at his right shoulder.
     "o...ok Rick only 10 minutes adventure okay..then I'll go back to school!!!"morty said looking at the happy drunk rick.
     "thanks morty,you know you will never regret this!!!"Rick said as he jumped for joy.

                  8 DAYS LATER.

      "Ahhh...I totally regret this I should've never done this!!!!"morty said driving the ship as their enemies where chasing them with full speed and shooting lasers at them.
       "come on morty why do you always like being a scared pussy huh...just drive fast as I recharge the spexifile okay!!"Rick said panicking but mostly terrified.
     "oh...so now am the pussy...so..so when we stayed on that planet for 8 days you were just drinking and having an affair with the prime minister's wife!!!!"morty said angrily as he was dodging the lasers.
      "wait...morty I was having an affair,with an alien..(burp)so you think am the pussy here..well your wrong..and also morty..I was trying to make that alien bitch to find the spexifile for us!!!!"Rick said as the two were continuing arguing as a laser as sharp as 1000 needles shot at the back of the ship,the ship was going down to earth,the enemies who were chasing them stopped and went to their world.
     The ship was going down on earth with a great speed as impact was right in front of them...and they were still arguing as Rick pressed a button as a parachute came out from the back of the ship and flew out from the ship as bottles of whisky were escaping from the back.
     "(sigh)this is why you should never drink wh-when been chased by c-c-crazy aliens!!!"morty said with his right hand on his forehead with his eyes closed.
     "f..fine morty I'll take the wheels..y..you just stay there at the other seat and think about summers Friend(Grace),or Jessica and start screwing yourself!!!!" Rick said as they switched seats and morty sucked out his mouth.
      "yes am..am going to screw myself..really hard be...because am a screwer!!"morty said not knowing that they were about to crash.
     "yes morty(burp)screw you..yourself really hard but you better not let all your butter squirt all over my car,cause it will attract insects!!!"Rick said as he was leveling buttons,levers and the steering wheel.
      "oh yeah an..and when you m..mean insects you mean...you right?!!"morty said.
    "yes morty..I..I mean me the insect,the insect Rick..first a pickle,second a kid,third an insect!!!"Rick said as the ship went straight down and landed on the backyard of the central prison.
      BOOM!!!.
     [SIREN]
     "oh my God everyone we're free...let's kill those bastards!!!!"said the head of the  criminals in the prison as a lot of criminals held things to kill the police.
         "but first...we're starting with the black pastor for speaking blasphemy!!!!"said the head of the criminals as they ganged up and started walking towards the pastor
     "come on you guys,God is real,he even wants you to repent...oh God do something please?!!!"the pastor cried.
       Rick woke up and when he looked to his right he could see that morty wasn't on the seat.
       "morty...ahh..shit..am bleeding!!"Rick said as he touched his abdomen.
     The ship was upside down and it was leaking fuel and fire was coming from the trail of fuel.
       "ahh..shit..why is this so painful,usually I don't shout if I bleed but why am I shouting too much!!!,oh God if your there please help me..oh yeah I wiped out God..hahaha...ahh..f*ck!!!"Rick cried as he ran holding his abdomen as an explosion occurred.