She was all I saw in everything... anything. Not one second, was she not on my mind. Not one day, I wouldn't fantasize about us being together, being happy, like I never thought I would be. Long ago we talked, it wasn't anything serious, it was just occasional chat. But one day I saw something in her that I'd never seen in anyone before. I'd seen the bright sky, in her eyes. I'd seen my future, in her smile. I'd seen my lust for her, in her hips. And I'd seen nothing but perfect from her soft blonde hair, down to her feet.
She was the one, the one my father warned me about when I was little, the one he'd say that I'd see everything in, but she saw nothing in me. Nothing. Nothing is what I was, what I am, what I feel. Empty. Empty is my ribcage, from which she brutally ripped my heart and soul from. Tremble. Tremble is what I do when I think of her, so gorgeous yet so... so dangerous. She knew me. More than I knew myself. She knew my pains and weaknesses, she knew my sadness and sorrows.
She knew my happiness and my smile. She knew my joy and hopes for life. She knew the pain that she could cause just from her absence. But most of the pain that I now endure, was my fault. My fault. It was my fault that I caught feelings for her, knowing I would never suffice for someone of her nature. It was my fault that I let her get to me. And now, I debate hanging with my friends or hanging from a rope. I blow my friends off to blow my head off. Instead of cutting in lines to get in a concert, I use cutting as a stress reliever. Relief. Relief is what I never felt. Relief from life is what I need now.
-Forever and Always?
