By kun
Sometime I think we all wish we could end it
Because sure do a lot
Sometime I cry for I reason beside the fact that. I hate myself alot
I have a lot of regrets and definitely one is you
You have mean so much to me but I don't that went both way
And that hurt
I am an annoying bitch who wants to feel loved
I am all emotional because I don't know what I am doing or even who I am
I just want to give you a little Head up on the plan
I cry I cry I cry lot
But that's fine
I don't want to feel I want to erase it all away
I have so many good days but they all seem to end in less that satisfaction
I want to end I want to end I want to end
I want everyone to know
I don't if I can even keep it in anymore
I want someone who loves me
Not that my friends aren't enough
But that isn't what I am looking for
And I thought ya were the one
But I thought wrong
I hella hella thought wrong
I meant nothing and
In result to that I felt like binging
Because I cared about you a lot
It was good I was happy
But instead you came back and you were dating someone
So I was like okey
I'll pretend like every bone in my body isn't breaking and I'll put in a fake ducking smile and pretend like it didn't mean anything
Even tho at least to me it did
It fucking fucking did
I loved you I love you
I loved you
But I guess you didn't love me at least in thr same way
And honestly you could have just said hey I don't want to swing that way
And yes that would have hurt butter nothing like this
The eternal thought in the back of my head saying welp I guess you aren't enough
You are worthless you are pathetic
You get no one to love
No your not enough
Maybe I am just over reaching becaus I am young and I am dumb
But I still have emotions
And emotions are scary
And they hurt and they control everything you do
Not that you care but my grades lowered, my attention lowered, my smiles lessened
But I am glad you had fun with that boy toy
Who we all know wasn't even the one
I don't hate you I don't in any part of me doesn't
But do I still love you , but won't continue to hold on and try to change myself
Just so you will think I am the one no
Because you know what
Being with you I spent so much time worrying
About this and that
Not even when we were dating
Just when we were friends
I wanted to be perfect for you
I wasn't
You yelled at me in dicks because i was childish and then we went back to your house and I pretended like I didn't cry or wasn't hurt
And we talked and it was all good
I had fun
But that pain didn't leave
It comes to me
In the middle of the night
Durning the day
And it ruins a lot
It hurts a lot
And it kinda not fair
Because you used my emotions as a toy
You bragged to the whole table about my relationship and this and that
But you never said that was you huh
Unless when it was to your ex and you said that I molested you huh
Huh
Huh
I don't want to cause drama
But stop using me as your doll
Because I am trying my best to live myself for the worthless human I am
I don't want anymore bad vibes or sadness than you have already caused
Stop making me all embarrassed stop
You know what your doing
You have caught me in your trap
And I am stuck
I can't leave
I think about you all the time
And I want it to stop
And whether or not that your fault is not what this is about
I probably did stuff to that hurt you
And I am sorry
You were an amazing friend
But at the same time you weren't
I could have said so many things, I could have fought back so many times
But I didn't
Ya want t know why
Because you were my fucking bff
And I fucked that up
I did.
Funny enough
It's my fault you were sucking on my finger in my bed
When you knew I had a crush on you
And then I bite your ear
And that's where it all began
The biggest mistake of my life
You said you liked that
And you did
And that made me happy
Don't sit here and pretend like you liked me
You only wanted me for my kiss
And ik
That why I cried
Do u remember when I cried
What time you may ask
The one time when we were kissing I started crying
I tried not to make it obvious
But that was the moment I knew
I was a toy
A useless doll
And everything is my fucking fault
