Chapter 1
My eyes flickered open. I could here my parents yelling at each other. I don't know why this bothers me anymore; I mean they have been fighting since I was 8. I wondered what they were fighting about this time. I got out of bed and quietly crawled to the stairs , however I stayed hidden so they couldn't see me. "James you cant keep doing this! You have to take you medicine! If you don't this happens! You get mad and yell for no reason! That is the whole reason you have the medication!"I could hear my mom yelling. I had no clue what she was talking about. I kept listening. " Mallory you just don't understand! Even if I do take the pills they don't always help! You cant get mad at me for something I cant control!" My dad was yelling in a voice that I had never heard before. It was spine-chilling, well more than usual. "James you can control it ! You just choose not to!" With that I heard my dad open the door and leave. Leaving my mom crying in the living room. I creep back to my room trying to be quieter than a mouse. Wondering what in the world they were talking about. The clock on my dresser said 5:30 am on Monday morning. I walked to the bathroom to start getting ready for school.I pull my dark brown hair into a side pony tail and put on very little makeup wanting to get out of the house as fast as possible. I put on my favorite pair of jeans, a comfortable yet cute shirt and ballet flats. I grab my bag and sneak out the door. It is about a 15 minute walk from my house to the bus stop. So I take out my ipod , put in my earphones and get lost in the music. Next thing I know I'm at the bus stop. I see Alex standing there, lost in her own little world. Alex and I have been friends since 6th grade. Its actually a really funny story. We used to hate each other, But we finally decided that we could be friends. " Hey Alex!" I said in my happy voice. It has taken years of practice to learn how to hide how I really feel , but I m pretty good at it now. She looked up an smiled, " Hey Kaylin! Guess what its Monday! Our favorite day!" She gave me the look she makes whenever she is being sarcastic. I smiled , " Yup it is!" We chit-chat for a little while then the bus arrives. We climb on and take our usual seats in the back. I see Aaron sitting on the back row. I have been crushing on him since 5th grade , the sad part? He is completely, hopelessly in love with Alex. She doesn't even like him , but he still chases after her. I know I don't have a chance. I look over at Alex, " So You ready to survive another week?" I asked her. It was December and we were so ready to be out of school. Christmas break was in a week thank goodness! She laughed , " Do I have a choice? My parents would make me even if I was dieing." Her parents were always wanting her to be like her older sister Emma. Emma always made A's , she is in IB , She is one of those girls who lives for school. I kinda feel bad for Alex, she likes sports and would rather play soccer all day then be stuck in a class room learning all day. My parents are hard on me but, not as hard as Alex's parents. For the rest of the bus ride I sat there watching Aaron. Wishing I could impress him.
When we arrive at school I stop by my locker get my books and head to my first class. I sit next to Courtney as usual. Her and I have become pretty good friends this school year. I have learned I can trust her. Which is good for me because I have terrible trust issues. I make it through all of my morning classes without getting upset or put down by anything. Right when I walk into lunch I see Caleb standing there. He turns and looks at me as I walk in. (Caleb was the first guy I liked. The first guy I gave my heart to. He hurt me so bad. He cheated on me with Alex ,then told me that if any guy loved me he must be blind . Alex knows not to bring him up around me. It is because of him I will never ever give my heart to someone again. As much as I like Aaron; I would never love hm completely because of Caleb.) He walked over to me and smiled that cunning, sparkling smile, " Hey Kaylin, You got a blind boyfriend yet?" This hurt, like alot. I looked at the ground and walked over to the table where Alex and Kenzie were sitting. They hate each other but I make them sit with me cause I love both of them to pieces. "Kaylin ? Are you gonna get some lunch?" Kenzie asked. I realize I haven't eaten all day but, I need to loose weight. I smile and look at her, " I had a protein bar on the way down here. It filled me up." I lied but, if I didn't they would have made me eat and I would gain more weight. A part of me knows I shouldn't starve myself, but I'm not really. Besides I am tired of my mom yelling at me and telling me I'm fat.
I faked a smile for the rest of the day and finally I was on the bus. I was so ready to get home. I no only one thing upset me today, but that's all it takes, one thing that makes me remember everything that has ever hurt me. The ride home is torture. Aaron flirted with Alex all the way home.Telling her how pretty she was and how he would love to be her boyfriend, she was the only girl he saw. I wanted to tell him he could be my boyfriend, I want to be the only girl he sees. I stare out the window trying to hold back tears. " Kaylin? Kaylin were home come on." Alex's voice broke through my daydream. I stood up and went to walk off the bus. I was about half way to the front of the bus when Caleb tripped me. Before I knew it I was flat on my face. I sat up and everyone was pointing and laughing. " Watch where you going." Caleb yelled at me. His current girlfriend, Lexi, took out her water bottle and dumped it out on my head. Aaron just sat on the back row laughing. I wanted to burst out in tears. I got up being careful and watching to make sure no one else was going to try to humiliate me and ran off the bus. I wanted to get to my house as fast as possible so I could cry. I could hear Alex running behind me. " Kaylin stop ! Please!" I finally slow down and let her catch up. " Alex, I don't wanna talk. I wanna go home." I said again trying to hold back tears. She grabbed my arm and lead me to her house. Nobody was home yet so it was a good place to cry. As soon as I walk in the door the water works start. Alex hugs me and tries to comfort me. At least she is good at this. " Lets get you some clean clothes and a warm cup of coffee. Then we will talk." I walked up to her room and got out some clothes to put on. Alex and I have been friends for so long that we sometimes don't know whose clothes are who's and more. After I change I walk down stairs and smell the warm,comforting, aroma of coffee. I walked over and sat on the comfy couch Alex walked over with a cup of coffee. She sat down and handed it to me. " Kaylin, I no you don't like to talk about him, but why do u hate him so much? I mean yeah he did cheat on you but that's it." Alex never understands heartbreaks because she is always the one causing them. I thought for a moment and started to speak, " He...He.. Alex I loved him. Or at least I thought I did. He was the first guy I have ever given my heart to and he completely broke it." My voice started to crack and then I cried again. Through the tears I tried to speak, " He also said that if any guy loved me , they must be blind." Alex looked at me with her eyes wide. " That son of a bitch!" Alex cursed alot. I tried not to cause my parents would kill me. " You are so beautiful Kaylin! You have the prettiest eyes in the world!" Alot of people think I have pretty eyes. I just think there dark brown holes of doom. Then again they say eyes are windows to the soul, mine is pretty dark at the moment. " Why did it bother you so much when he tripped you? I mean your my best friend and I have rubbed off on you. I thought you were gonna stand up and laugh it off like I do. There is something else bothering you and I know it! If you don't tell me I'll take your coffee away!" I laughed. I do love my coffee. I hate how she always knows when something is wrong. I cant get anything past her. I looked at Alex , " Whenever I fell, I was hoping Aaron would come help me up or something, but when I looked back there at him, he was laughing. Alex he loves you, like really ,really loves you. I just wish he would like me." Alex knew I liked Aaron , but she didn't know i was completely head over heels for him. Alex just sat there so I continued, " I know I said I would never let someone have my heart again but, I really really like him. I guess I just need to give up on love." I started to cry again. You might think I'm a wimp but, the whole bus incident wasn't the only reason I am crying. I am tired of my parents fighting, tired of my mom taking out her anger on me.
At six o'clock I get my stuff together and start home. My dad will be home any minute and he will be mad if I'm not there when he gets home. I start to run as fast as my legs will carry me. I get to my driveway and my dad's car is sitting there. My heart stops beating and I prepare for the yelling I am about to receive. I walk up to the door and quietly open it hoping that maybe I could sneak in but, that's when I saw him standing there. I held my breath and looked at him. He was looking at me with fire in his eyes.
