Dreams In A Hospital

"Anna." I call, loud just loud enough for her sound sensitive angel ears to hear me. "Anna, I need your help."

"Finally decided to kill me Castiel?" She looks calm.

"I came alone."

"What is it that you need?"

"I am considering disobedience. What should I do?" She steps forward and places a hand on my shoulder. Before I know what i'm doing, I pull away. She looks hurt.

"Oh, I forgot Cas, I am the plague of heaven." She sounds defensive. "The child who lost her way. Figure it out on your own, Cas." I place my hand on her shoulder as she turns away.

"I want... I need your help. Please. I would be disobeying god's word."

"I'm sorry. It's time to think for yourself, Castiel." She leaves this time and I do not stop her. I think about what she said while standing there. I fly back to the only place I could possibly think clearly. To the hospital, with Dean. I stand and watch him sleep.

'Do you love him?' Yes. 'Would you do anything in the world for him?' Absolutely. 'If, when you tell him the truth about how you feel, and he rejects you, will you let him go?' I can't. I look up to the ceiling, knowing that even if he pushes me away, buries the knowledge of my love for him so deep that it's below baby memories, I can't leave him. I sit down in a chair on the side of Deans bed.

"Mmm...Cas." I look up as I hear my name in Deans usually smokey soft voice. Although, right now, it sounds like its been cheese grated. I see that he is still asleep, only dreaming. It does not look like a particularly bad dream, in fact, he is smiling. One of those rare smiles, the ones you only see when he's asleep nowadays. I cock my head slightly, an old habit. I don't want to invade his privacy, but I would like to know what he's dreaming about. I push away his veiled walls, and step into his unconsciousness.

He's in another musty hotel room. I didn't think this would make him happy, but then I see something. I see myself, and him. Just sitting at the table, with a couple of beers. Only, I look around, there's no Sam.

"Sam will be gone for a few hours." Dean says almost on cue.

"Really? I wonder what we could do to pass the time." Dream me says, and taps his chin.

"I know of a few things." Dean says with a downright naughty grin. Dream me looks as though he never heard what he said.

"We could watch a movie, take a nap, read a book." Dean doesn't even look annoyed. "Or fuck each others brains out, until one of us can't go anymore... or both of us." I'm startled by the last one. Dean looks considering.

"I think I like that last idea."

I was wrong to intrude into his dreams, it is his dreams not mine. I got out of there as soon as the lusty haze in Dean's eyes turned into hunger. Which didn't take that long. I now sit beside his hospital bed again and watch as he mumbles my name among other incoherent words. I do not wake him when he arches against the bed, nor do I wake him when he moans my name and begs. I sit and watch. When he goes still once again, I tentatively let myself back in his mind. We are no longer sitting at the table, or clothed for that matter. We are tangled up in the covers on the bed. My own black hair ruffled and askew. Deans honey blond hair, usually spiked, is ruffled and messy. His emerald green eyes look glazed, post-sex haze. I sit at the table that we were once sitting at, watching him sleep. I must've let my mind space because all of the sudden he was looking at me shocked and looking back to my slumbering body.

"Cas?" He tries to cover the sleeping me with the blanket.

"Don't bother. I saw what happened."