When he left //h.s.

One

We had disagreed so many times. We had big disagreements, and then our little disagreements. But never as big of a disagreement as this one. It's amazing how one conversation could change your whole life. Whole thought process. Your whole heart.

I had been laying in a bath. A steaming hot bath, with Rose petals and candles. It was Friday, my final night after work. It was my relaxing night. Although tonight was different.

Tonight was sad. Tonight would hold so many unpleasant memories. Every time she would take a bath, from now on, she wouldn't be able to not think about tonight. She wouldn't be able to not cry. Her heart would not be able to not break.

But one day, she hoped, she would be able to take a bath without crying.

She closed her eyes and wished. She wished that the pain could go away. She wished she could turn back time. She wished he wasn't so stubborn. She wished they never could disagree. She wished for a lot of things in that moment.

But when she heard that bathroom door open, she knew it was real. She knew he had come to say goodbye. Not to forgive, apologize, or beg to stay. This was it. This was the end.

He walked in and sat on the toilet. As he sat down, I had caught a whiff of his cologne. That god damn expensive cologne that smelt so damn good. This would be the last moment when I could smell it, and I was savoring this.

He brought his hand to my cheek and held it.

"You are so beautiful."

I exhaled slowly, and sadly. I opened my eyes slowly to get one last look at him. When I saw his face, I crumpled in side. It was sad. One tear had escaped his eye. A tear out of those blazing brown eyes. Those beautiful brown eyes that had lost some life in them. Brown eyes I would never get to wake up too again. Never get to see when I came home again. Never get to see open after we had kissed. Never would I see them period.

I looked him in eyes.

"No I'm not. If I was, you wouldn't leave me."

He sighed and withdrew his hand from my face.

"Beauty has nothing to do with any of it."

I replied quickly.

"Beauty has most of what to do with it!"

I sat up quickly which made the water in the tub slosh around and nearly go over the edge.

"Beauty is what makes someone look at someone, and think 'I would love to talk to her'. Beauty is something that catches the eye. Beauty is supposed to be your first judgement of someone you have never meant. Beauty is everything. Beauty is what made us come together, isn't it?"

It took me a minute to realize what I was doing. There was a stream of tears running down my face. My eyes were
Probably a beautiful blue. My hands were gripping the sides of the tub, turning my knuckles white. My breathing was slowing down. Then there was his face.

It was full of sadness, anger, and regret. I could tell, he didn't want to do any of this. He didn't want to leave. He didn't want to walk out that door. He put all of his wants behind him and was focusing on his needs, as he puts it. I call it bull shit. If you love someone so much, you should never leave. Buts that's where we disagreed.

Our story was not finished, it had just began. He thought our story was ending. It was coming all up into a plot twist.

"I'm sorry. I'm just doing what's best for us." he said.

I chuckled and laid back down into the nice warm water. Relaxing into it, letting it take over me.

"Your not sorry. I know you, and you would say anything for me to say it was ok to leave. Here's the facts though. It's not what's best for us, in fact, when you leave, I'm going to break down in hysteria for a couple of days. I know you won't come back, and that's ok. I will miss you, and my heart will hurt, but I'll get over it. So don't sit here and try to feed me this shit about how your sorry and how it's what's best. Because deep down, you know what's best."