sadness overwhelms me( depressing poetry and short stories)

My Suicide Letter

        This is an updated version for those who have already read the first one. This is my actual suicide letter for if i ever decide to kill myself because of circumstances that some people will never understand. It has been updated from microsoft word so yeah...... I don't nor ever will condone suicide unless it was the last resort. I would never kill myself for no reason if i couldn't come out of it. so yeah read and understand I DO NOT CONDONE NEEDLESS SUICIDE NOR ATTEMPTED SUICIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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 To whomever finds my body and everyone thereafter,

If you are reading this I am dead. I killed myself. Its over and done and we can’t do anything about it now. There are several reasons why I did it and several people I want to know that I love them . If you are one of those special people I wrote you a letter. I want you to open them and then come to my funeral and read them aloud. If you got one but you don’t come to my funeral and read them aloud I WILL HAUNT YOU. I will know whether you went because I will be watching you. Believe me I will know.

I love you all very much and I am sorry but I can’t take it anymore. There were bullies and assholes and an eternal feeling of sadness that I just couldn’t shake. I asked for help but no one believed me. No one got me the help I needed. I tried to be happy but no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t do it. If you ever saw me happy and you didn’t know me before I was 11 then it probably was a lie, an act, a ploy to make you all think I was okay because I didn’t want you to have to deal with my problems.

For some people the fact that I took my own life will be hard and for some downright earth shaking. People will probably be thinking why didn’t I notice sooner or I wish I could have been there more, seen her more, loved her more. Some will wonder why didn’t she tell me or why didn’t I help her when I knew something was wrong, when I saw the cuts on her wrist and the sadness in her eyes, why didn’t I do something? Listen to me when I tell you this  IT WASN’T YOUR FAULT. It was my choice , I am going to have to live with it, or not live with it, forever.

I am going to say my goodbyes now. I have a video I made on my computer. Its marked my last day. No caps,spaces,numbers, or symbols. Just my last day. I love you Dalton,Nate,Natalie,Josh Butler,Elizabeth Way,Mom, Dad, Codey, Grandaddy , Grandmama,Murray, Grandma Rosie, and Jess. There are many others and they will know who they are when they get the letters I wrote to them. They will also get videos too. I am sorry  for all the pain I caused and will cause you. I love you all dearly and I am sorry it had to end this way. I just couldn’t take it anymore. The pain, the bullying, the lonliness,the sadness, and the lack of love. This is the last you will hear of me.

Love you all to death(literally)

                    Kimberly Morgan Culbreth