Its been weeks since I've ever talked to anyone. I've been in my room nonstop. It was too painful.
I felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest. I had serious anxiety and my ADHD got worse.
I had just been diagnosed with it a few months ago. I couldn't focus on anything. It was hell.
I hate to admit but most of those days I was crying my ass off. I missed her. Anne. I felt emotional pain and physical pain.
One day my mom walked in while I was crying. She was heart broken just from seeing me being heart broken. She came up to me and hugged me for a very long 10 seconds. I realized over the past few weeks that I wasn't bisexual.
I was always attracted to girls/women. I wasn't attracted to guys/men as I thought I was.
I am a lesbian. I am gay. I am (L)GBT. Once I acknowledged it i finally accepted. It was no longer so heavy on my shoulders. It still was some weight. I had to stop lying to myself, my brother, my mother. Everyone. I had to tell my mom. "Mom." I asked. "Yes?"
She questioned. "Do you love me no matter what?" I could feel my heart beat rising, going faster and faster. "Of course Noah."
"I don't like guys. " I quickly shot out the words. She stares at me for a good 30 seconds. " Noah, even though we are christian and believe in God doesn't mean I have to stop loving you or have to disown you just because you can't control who you are attracted to."
"I will always love you." She genuinely said. I started crying like hell. I was so relieved that this nightmare was over, but I had an even worse one. Anne. Getting over her.
They say that you will never be able to get over your first love...
(Sorry this chapter was short but it was a good start.) COMMENT IF YOU FIGURED OUT THE PUZZEL ON MY LAST BOOK. (Alone) MSG ME THE ANSWER TO THE PUZZEL. ~ N
