Ms. Domme

Chapter Nine

"I'm thinking of opening up a window or two. What about you?" I hated stuffy rooms, especially after I would take a long, hot shower. I had left Lawrence to change by himself, wanting a little alone time to get my thoughts in order. The way he had spoken to me during our dinner together had my mind racing

I was guilt-stricken. I knew what I was doing- but rarely has anyone been so open with me about how they felt about it. Of course, I had always made it a rule for Lawrence to speak his mind- when he wasn't collared of course- for these very reasons.  I guess the parts of me I thought I could remove from myself have really just bitten me in my ass. Being cold and relentless- outside of the bedroom- only causes more problems. Hell, I should have known that by now.

"I'd like that, Miss." I smiled at his response. I looked down at him, back pressed against the wall and buttocks on the floor, clothed in red plaid pajama bottoms and a grey tank. Even when he wasn't collared, he was so respectful.

Which reminds me, "I won't be collaring you tonight or tomorrow," I added while making my way over to the double windows that adorned the right side of my bedroom. Once opened and drapes pulled open, I tightened my robe.

When I turned to face him, his head had shot up to meet me from where he was fiddling with his cell phone. "Miss?" He said very cautiously. "Have I done something wrong?"

"Absolutely not!" I smiled to him brightly and offered a hand to him. He took it and I pulled him up from the floor. "I want to have some time without it."

Dark eyes flashed with fear once again. "Like a break...?"

I lightly laughed. "Silly, don't be worried. It's nothing like you think."

"But Miss, I know how much it means to you-"

"And you understand that it is crucial to have your own freedom at points, right, Lawrence?" I knew where he was going with this. I've never gone more than 24 hours without collaring him whilst he was in my presence- or "living with me" as I called it.

I understood how this could frighten him. For weeks at a time he would sleep in my bed (not always on the bed and not always sleeping either) and we would commute to work separately. Coming home to him- or him coming home to me on rare occasions- are some of the best moments. The collar itself proves as a physical symbol of my ownership and control- as well as trust and care. It means more to me than a ring ever could.

However, having time to actually enjoy each others company without the pressure of our lifestyle has been slim in the many months of our arrangement. Even when he was away at rehab- the phone calls and visits I would make were full of "Mistress, Miss, and Ma'am". I had a deep feeling that a few days without it may be beneficial to the situation- and also as a growing period to work past this bump.

"Law, honey, I don't want a break per say."

"But Miss, my free time is spent at work. And at home in the days that I don't see you- Miss, I have enough free time. I don't want anymore."

This made me raise my eyebrow. Okay, maybe he wasn't going where I thought he was. "Why not?" My tone sounded cynical- and I knew it, but I wanted to know his true answer. I wanted to know why he was so against it. Against me. What if he was getting tired of me in this setting? As a person rather as his dominant?

The smooth, pale muscles of his shoulders were rigid. "Miss, I-I don't want more time away from you." His eyes casted down to his bare toes. Relief flooded through me. I grasped his hand and raised it to my lips, giving it a small peck across his knuckles.

"Honey, I didn't say that I wanted to be away from you during this." Lawrence relaxed and made eye contact with me.

"You mean- like vanilla?" He had a small tone of disgust. I laughed.