The train ride is supposed to take two full days, but just the first day is too much for me, apparently. After a failed attempt at eating that ended with me vomiting up whatever I had tried to force into myself, I curled up in my shower after stripping myself out of my reaping clothes. Not using it, just hiding in it. That's where I've been for the past five hours. My back and neck are starting to cramp but I'm afraid to get out. I don't know exactly why I'm afraid, I'm just afraid. I feel vulnrable in just my underclothes, but I don't want to wear the clothes they have provided for me, and I'm certainly not getting back into my reaping clothes. I can hear the vase where Clara's sunflower sits on the dresser rattling as the train moves, and the sound lulls me in a way that nothing else could right now. I drift in and out of a restless, nightmare-filled sleep a few times before a tentitive knock on my bedroom door startles me awake.
"Ty? Are you okay? You've been in here for a while..."
It's Niall. A spasm coarses through my body when I hear his voice, and I smack my head on the shower-door handle.
"Ow!" I yelp, then slap my hand over my mouth.
"Ty? What's going on?" I hear him open the door.
"N-nothing!" I stammer, my head throbbing. "I'm fine!"
I hear him walk over to the bathroom and I make a feeble effort at making myself as small as possible, cursing myself for not closing and locking the bathroom door.
Niall appears in the doorway, his face twisted with worry. He looks better than I do. He replaced his reaping clothes with a loose-fitting t-shirt and sweatpants, and I watched him eat dinner so I know he's eaten, but his hair is sticking out in every which way, and his hands are still shaking, so I know that, inside, he's probably in not much of a better condition than I am. He frowns when he sees me, broken and half-naked, curled up in the corner of the shower.
"Come out of there." He says gently. I shake my head hard.
"No way."
"Please?"
"No."
He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, then he sits down outside of the shower.
"Do you need to talk?" He asks. I shake my head again. He pauses, biting his lip.
"Do you need a hug?" He asks, opening his arms. I hesistate for a minute, then crawl over to him and let myself curl into his lap. As soon as his arms wrap around me, I burst into sobs.
"I'm scared, Niall." I whimper. He sighs.
"I know. I'm scared, too." He murmurs, and I remember that he's in this, too. He's probably going to die, just like I am. That thought just makes me cry harder, though, and soon all that's coming out of me are racking sobs and strangled animal noises. But Niall just rocks me gently and strokes my hair, just like my Momma does, or, did.
As soon as my crying starts to stem, Niall stands me up and brings me over to my bed, where he sits me right back down and goes over to the wardrobe. He studies the clothes while I sit and watch, snivling like a child. He holds up a few articles of clothing, but puts them back, like he's being totally serious about what I should wear to bed.
"Well, they picked all of your most unflattering colors, didn't they?" He says in a Capitol accent, like he's one of the stylists. I giggle as he finally decides on a purple tank top and black sweatpants, what I probably would have picked anyways. I pull the clothes on after a moments hesistation- I still really don't feel like wearing Captiol clothing- and motion for Niall to sit next to me. He does and I lean my head on his shoulder.
"What time is it?" I ask, feeling suddenly very sleepy after my crying spell.
"No idea," He says, "But it's dark outside and it's been dark for a while so probably late."
I chew my tongue. I want to ask Niall to spend the night here, but I don't want to crowd him. I think of the nightmares I had in the shower and fear gets the best of me.
"Can you stay here tonight?" I ask with a desperation that I didn't realize I had. He glances down at me, then shrugs, which bounces my head around and makes me giggle again.
"I don't see why not." He says. And with that statement, he picks me up and drags me to the top of the bed and pulls the comforter over us all in one move. I can't help but to laugh.
"Are these lights that you can just clap and they go out?" Niall asks, grinning at me.
"I don't know, why don't you try." I reply with a smile. He claps twice, and sure enough, the lights go out. We flip so we're facing each other, and I notice we both have childish grins on our faces.
"It's like a sleepover!" Niall whispers excitedly. I giggle again.
"Except I'm sort of actually tired so I need to sleep." I say, yawning. Niall nods, and I quickly fall into a deep, nightmare-plauged sleep.
YOU ARE READING
Sunflower Seeds
FanfictionIt's the year of the 62nd annual Hunger Games, and Tytania Lousse, better known as Ty, is absolutly dreading it. Her and her best friend, Niall Horan, have their names in that glass bowl too many times. But she's only got two more reapings, and this...