Other Half

Ch. 4 Harsh Words

*Forewarning, this chapter contains elements of suicide and depression. Don't want to upset anyone who's dealt with this*   <3

Bubbles flew to the surface as I desperately clawed at the rope tied to my ankles.

'Stop trying. Just end it.' A voice said. 'You'll never resurface in time.'

I looked to my side and saw Tony staring at me with clouded eyes. A sob escaped my lips, muffled by the deep water.

I closed my eyes and felt the voice laughing. 'Why are you doing this?' I thought.

'Because you stole it. You stole ALL OF IT.'

I whimpered and looked back at my dead brother. His hand and eyes were now pointing up.

My arm slowly reached towards him, but he was too far away.

I blinked hard and slowly before facing the front.

The water was a darken shade of blue, nothing to be seen within.

I felt my chest tightening slowly and gradually.

My hands touched my neck before letting go and closing my eyes.

'This is the end.'

Suddenly, I felt the rope that was tied around my ankles being ripped off. I shook and turned to see what was going on.

A dark figure rose to meet me at eye level.

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I woke up violently shaking and sweating. Panicked, I looked all around my room to adjust myself to my surroundings.

Quickly, I pulled out my journal from the night stand.

10-12-2016

'I was drowning. Someone intentionally placed me there.

Tony was next to me and watched me drown. But someone saved me.

Who saved me?'

I closed my journal and placed it back in the drawer. My eyes caught the time, '2:01 am.'

I pulled my knees to my chest. 'What to do now?' I felt vulnerable.

My feet landed on the floor as I pulled my self out of the hole I created with pillows and blankets.

Quickly, I took a shower and ran downstairs.

I grabbed my keys and got into my car. I had too much on my mind.

As I drove, I let my mind race to the memories that I had violently shoved in the back of my subconscious for these past few years.

All of those thoughts and images that replayed in my eyes flooded back with the emotions attached right with them.

His body clouded my mind as a tear slipped down my face.

My mind raced.

'He needed help and I didn't give it to him,' I blamed myself.

I gripped the steering wheel in frustration.

"He needed someone, but you found a way to calm yourself. That was your way of being okay with his depression," I yelled out loud.

"Your way of justifying your sin. Your sin of selfishness. Everything you do, is to guarantee your own comfort. Even with the price of your own brother's life."