Look at Things Differently

Chapter 4

When we get home, I storm up to my room, sobbing, and Ryan follows close behind. I don't stop him. I go to my computer and click on youtube. I type in the song, and I let the music fill the room, focusing on the lyrics. The video confirms my guess. This boy, I'm thinking he represents the singer a few years younger, is bullied at school and by his brother. He writes everything in this notebook he has, which I guess would explain the "pens" part. He goes places, like the park and some railroad tracks, to be alone and escape from it all. I can see in their eyes, both the boy and the singer himself, that he is crying, though the tears don't actually fall. I don't know why, because I've never been bullied, but I feel a connection to him and his music.

I type the band's name in the search box, but don't hit enter. A list drops down, and I click the first one, a song called "In The End." I can see it is later in his career because he looks older. His hair is cut, his features have matured, he has more tattoos. The very first line catches me: "In the end, as we fade into the night, who will tell the story of your life?" The video, to me, looks like someone, a girl, is a fan and is hurt from something. What, I'm not sure. And the band is trying to help her, physically and emotionally. I think there's more to this story. I look at the description and see that the album is called "Wretched and Divine: The Story of The Wild Ones."

I google the album, wanting to purchase it perhaps, and run across a link. "Legion of The Black - Black Veil Brides movie."

Curious, I click on it. It's apparently a film for the whole album, and the story behind it. This girl, Eve Black, is like Goth or Emo, and she's a big fan of Black Veil Brides. She's writing things about the Legion and listening to their music in class. She's drawing pictures ofthis Legion, and the "serpentine matriarch" in her notebook. She gets in trouble for it and the principal calls her parents. Her parents are yelling at her, they're all fighting. The paremedics come in and drug her, and they take her to some kind of mental hospital. There, she stays, locked up and contained. The insanity, or perhaps just her wild heart reacting to the containment, explodes. Some black substance, like ash or cinder, falls from the cieling. She uses it to draw one of these Shadow legion things. They take her out, and I'm not sure what happens next, but she's being taken back to her room in a wheelchair, her eyes distant and tear-filled. Her BVB clothes are gone, but she clutches at her band necklace like a lifeline. Meanwhile, there's this big bad gang, F.E.A.R., and it's members and fllowers, the Shadows, that the band is rising against. The doctor at the hospital has the picture of the lead Shadow on his badge, I notice. The whole story is like this girl and what she see in her mind, and her perspective, and what's happening is like what these Wild Ones are.

It's about being a different individual and making your own reality.

Well, I can't explain it. Not with the passion and feeling with wich they show it. You'll just have to watch it. But I find it interesting, and I turn to Ryan, suddenly remembering his presence. I realize I've stopped sobbing, and the tears just fall silently. My face is an expressionless stone, a mask devoid of all feeling. I feel each tear trickle warmly on my face, feel their trails drying behind them.

It is then that I realize, I'm changing. My insides are darkening, hardening. I suddenly find myself turning away from myself, and my favorite band, One Direction. I'm no longer a Zayn girl. I'm no longer girly and sweet. My life has fallen apart, and I am starting to reflect that. Ryan can see it, and his eyes betray his fear.