Short Stories (Reminisce)

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The high temperature dissolved into moist as she drinks her last glass of water-- Oh, it's past two; where the air condition got the limit of automatic timeoff they usually set. Drinking the last glass doesn't even decrease the soreness of her throat.

Staring out the window. There, she saw the empty clouded sky. It was dark, the half moon seems useless behind that thick cloud, the meaning of nothingness is infront of her..

Infront of her, inside her, everywhere she goes, it's nothing. She is nothingness.

Her eyes doesn't have anything left; tear doesn't flow instead it proceeds down her heart, seizing it til she suffocates, until her heart gives up and let it occupy, waiting to eat her whole but before that, it still bypass her throat where it leaves a sting.

Her heart is nothingness. She numbed.

Oh, even her mind is nothing, the thoughts running is as thoughtless and nonsense wherein it affects the mouth.

Her mouth is nothingness. She's saying nonsense things that even her can't understand what she's implying but nonetheless it mutters the nicest words, the sweetest sentences that made her insides sour, the lies that gave others enlightenment while suffering on her behalf.

Flipping off the white blanket, wore her slippers and rose up. She drag the metal, every step the wheel's making a creepy sound, every step the metal connected to her veins supports her as if it was her guide.

None, for the 40th day, there was nothing written on the glass door not even a slightest line-- like they used to.

She tried her best to reach the door. Their door, the "door to hope" as they call it.

I miss u

She wrote using the moist-- just like before. But she's still not convinced so she added a crying emoticon.

Then she started knocking the wall, the sign that the door was ready to be use, for him to know that the door is ready to be their "door to hope".

She waited for another minute but no knocking back and the words she wrote didn't change.

Nothing, nothing happened just like the past few days.

She couldn't even remember how it started, the pace was too fast. A faint memory pops.

She was on her way to the comfort room, her mom was too asleep and her heart melted when she saw her mom's tired expression, stricken by guilt, she tried her best to walk, alone. But the metal accidentaly bumped the wall. She didn't mind and just keep on going.

After peeing, she carefully get out of the comfort room and there, she noticed a weird smiley on the door's rectangle glass. She didn't mind, perhaps it's just formed due to the moist.

But a small knock on the wall got her attention. So, she walks back and wrote a 'Hi' below the smiley.

The memory is not that fresh, it was distinct but it was special. There, it all started.

It turns out that the guy writing on her ward's door is the watcher slash personal nurse of an old woman confined beside her ward. He's a licensed nurse who left his job to fulfill his obligation on his family.

He was bored and couldn't sleep that time and when he heard a thumped on the wall, concerned as a licensed nurse, he went to check what was going on and instead, saw her entering the comfort room.

The conversation on her ward's door goes on until he showed up, one night, asking if she wants to go out-- of course, on the hospital's canteen. They were both wearing a mask but his eyes were--- expressive that it's hard not to trust him.

Eversince that night, they became friends. Every night, a knock as their signal for asking each other's company. Her mom on the otherhand visits her rarely since she can't give up her work for hospital expenses, so as her father; that made her left, alone.

Contrary of her loneliness, a new feeling built inside her. Even her weak heart seems stronger everytime they talk even though at times, she had to stay inside her room because her Mom or Daddy is staying as her watcher, but still they are finding a way, the door to hope became their linkage to talk.

"Are you okay?" A sleepy voice interrupted her thoughts. A worried face of her mother made her consciousness back altogether. 

She gave her sweetest smile "I'm fine, really. You don't have to worry, rest now, mommy"

A sweet, white lie. No, she's not fine. She feels empty-- like there's a hollow space inside her that needs to be answered, needed to be filled.

And it feels like, her heart's becoming weaker. The strength fade and all she have was her Mom and Dad. Even if she wanted to fall and just give up, her parents are working hard for her, for her health to be stable and she can't take to dissapoint her loved ones.
     
   

He gently taps the door "This is where it all started, from now on. This is my door to hope, it leads me to you, Hope"

"Can I call it my door to hope, too?"

"Of course, Hope. Your hope will be my hope, so it will be our Door to Hope"

The door opened along with her eyes.

"Call the doctor!"
"She's awake"

And there, I heard all the commotions, panics and screams. I feel tired, really really tired.

"Thanks god! You regained consciousness" I felt a hug. It was mom. Her cheeks are stained with tears.

Tears..

"I'm sorry, Hope. It was all my fault. I can't continue talking to you with all those lies" Tears were flowing rapidly on his cheeks.

"No, it's okay. I understand, don't-- please stay by my.." Sobs made it hard for her to speak.

"I-- want to. But, i will be undergoing an operation. I don't know if it will be successful and I don't want you to mourn, to grieve. So now even if it's hard, let's stop this" Those words took it all away.

She can't even talk. She can't speak what's on her mind. It feels like, she's gone deaf by hearing those words.

He walks away. When she heard a soft and painful bang of the door, their door to hope took away all her hope.

But before that, I saw how his lips curved into a smile and it muttered 'I love you' she didn't heard it out loud but she read it, just like how they started.

After that night, 'Don't wait for me, if I come back, We'll start all over again. I'm inlove with you, My Hope' was the words written on the door.

He confesses all his lies, it was not true that he's at the hospital to watch on his grandma (Who died, last year), he was truely a licensed nurse, he was admitted in the hospital due to brain tumor and scheduled to undergo an operation.

And up until then, I've been waiting for him. Then but Now, a news that he didn't made it, that his brain didn't cooperate even if his heart does. He---- died.

I'm Hope. I successfully survive the operation and till now, I've been asking 'I survived, why can't he?'

But 'til this time, there's no concrete answer. I'm leaving my ward, leaving our Door-to-hope. And I hope, I can leave our memories too but I won't. I will never forget him.

I don't want to forget him but as he said, I won't wait. I will live and I will continue loving him. Because I know, that's what he wants me to do to nurse his memories.

"I love you" I wrote, as I closed our door and left the nothing and empty room. Leaving the room of sickness that then turns to room of hopefulness.