I am Ashmita, and this is my story.
I and Akash have been friends for several years now. We first met, when he got admitted to our school in class 7th. He used to be a shy type of person, and for a few days in the new school, he cried, missing his old friends, teachers and school.
Seeing him as that shy, introvert type of guy never made me like him, until I realized how awesome he was.
Within the first month of his arrival, he became the entertainer of the class. He'd crack jokes, he'd imitate teachers, and he'd be at his best of having fun in the library.
Akash used to be fat, just like me. I always used to say that I'm slimmer than him, and taller than him, but I knew it for myself too, that I wasn't. To be honest, I loved being his minion. (Not a minion like a follower. A minion like the minion character from movies.)
As we grew older, and hormonal changes started hitting me, I started falling in love with him.
It was all just childhood bullshit, or so I thought. I was actually in love with him.
I started making a wishlist, and all my wishes revolved around him. I started dreaming of living with him, going on world tour with him, getting drunk with him.
I didn't know what I was doing, but I was just mad for him.
As a rule of nature, hormonal changes occurred in Akash's body too, which suddenly made him aggressive. He'd shout on little things, he'd start hitting things, he'd start abusing people, and what not.
And his aggression was what kept me from letting him know about my feelings.
His aggression didn't stop, until he had his first heartbreak. He got rejected by a girl in class 11th. It hit him hard.
In front of that girl, he didn't show his aggression, he didn't abuse, he had that nice guy image in that girl's eyes, yet, she rejected him.
I knew it was my chance to confess, but I chose not to. He was my best friend, (he still is), and that was why he was able to share his pain with me.
If I were his girlfriend, or if he'd known about my feelings, he would've hesitated, and that would've affected him in a bad way.
Few months passed, and he got over that girl. Now was my chance to tell him.
But I had risk our friendship. I couldn't gather the courage to tell him.
One day, he came to me.
"ASHMITA, I PROPOSED VAANI, AND SHE SAID 'YES'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He was excited, and shouting and joy.
He hugged me.
That was my heartbreak.
I felt it. I felt my tears wanting to get out of my eyes, but I held them. I smiled and congratulated him. He was so happy.
He had his girlfriend with him, the girl he had been liking for one month. And there was me, alone, getting nothing in return of loving someone for more than 3 years.
It wasn't his fault, he did not know about my feelings,
But I expected him to understand.
At least we were friends, (and we still are.),
But why we couldn't be more?
I never lost him. He never kicked me out of his life,
But his priorities have changed.
I often see him talking to his girlfriend, i often see him hanging out with her, and it crushes me. He has no idea what I feel, when he unintentionally, and unknowingly keeps on breaking my heart,
And I have to smile, and keep on smiling,
Just because he's my friend,
And I love him.
