芳村 エト ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ Eto Yoshimura x Reader

苦しみ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍belief (lime)

Smut was requested but I don't do smut so have some terrible lime
Yeah and if you're religious...well this takes place in a church sooooo...
Also reader is kind of a masochist please don't kill me
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The evening light filtered through the large coloured window of Kurishimi church.
Stained glass was different from regular window glass; it was brittle, and the way the suns dying rays cast a watery pattern was far, far more beautiful.

It didn't matter whether you were religious or not, being inside the cold, stone church made you feel eternal, in the sense that you were removed from the world.
Removed from the violence, the terror, the anger and hatred.

You stood at the head of the alter, bathing in the rainbow light, head up, eyes closed, arms spread in the glory.

Every breath you exhaled created a warm cloud of steam.

"Just as a candle cannot burn without fire, men cannot live without a spiritual life."
Eto Yoshimura's cool voice echoed.
"Buddha. A wise man, I'm sure. But I can hardly agree to his statement."

You turned, shoes squeaking awkwardly on the tiles below.

She was standing by the door, her forest green hair flowing down to her waist. Bandages trailing from her arms and hips and legs.
The stained glass window casting her in blue, red and gold.

"Eto." You breathed.

"Hello, my little (Y/n)." She giggled, practically skipping toward you.
"I've missed you."

"Y-you have?"

She kept coming closer and closer, until you bumped into the alter.
You hadn't even realised you were moving away from her.

That was the thing with Eto, although your mind and heart were screaming to be near her, your physical body had other ideas.

Now your back was pressed against the granite block, your faces so close that the mist from your breathing seemed to meld and flow together.

Her eyes flickered up and down your body.
"(Y/n), do you believe in a higher power? A god if you will?"

Was she asking you why you were in this church, and a small one like Kurushimi at that? Or was she genuinely curious?

"I-I don't know."

"I always found it hilarious..."
She said, smiling and tracing a finger along your jawline.
"...how much faith people put in 'god'. How people entrust themselves to 'it', how people give up everything for this almighty being in the sky."

What could you say? How could you reply to something like that? Especially now when you were so focused on the tingling feeling you felt on your skin where she touched you.

"Why are you here?"
The sharpness of her statement cut through the tension in the air.

"It's calm here." Your reply was barely a murmur, but it caused her face to contort into a grin.

"You like the calm? The quiet?"
She whispered near your ear, and you felt the hair on your neck raise instinctively.

"I like the escape sometimes, the way I can be removed from the world. It's...beautiful."

She didn't reply for a moment, and you were frozen in the icy church, still as the statues lining the pews.

And then she began to laugh.

"(Y/n)," she breathed. "You are too good sometimes."

She slammed her lips against yours roughly, pushing you against the alter until it hurt your back.

"E-eto-"You mumbled, trying to break the kiss for a second. "-My back-"

She wasn't listening to you right now.
She was crazy when she got like this, terrifying and crazy.

She kissed you harder, until you thought you were going to pass out from lack of oxygen, her tongue slipping between your lips.
Eto pulled back suddenly, leaving you gasping and spluttering for air.
She, on the other hand, seemed totally fine.

"Honestly (Y/n), you're lying to yourself."

"W-what...do you mean?" You still felt like a fish on land.

"You say you like the calm; that's a lie. Otherwise you wouldn't be so enthralled by me. I have you on the tips of my fingers, don't deny it. And I am hardly calm and boring. I think you're just a masochist."

You went bright red at this statement.
"I'm not! I'm not a masochist, that's not-"

And she was a blur, moving forward and biting down on your collarbone.
You instinctively let out a gasp, and a quiet sound with it.

You felt the blood rising to your cheeks in a warm blush.

Eto pulled back, licking the blood off the tips of her fingers, your blood.

Your head was spinning, everything was blurred and your balance seemed to be off kilter.
It was the most horrible feeling, your body wasn't responding to your mind, you felt your knees crumble into nothingness, and your palms wouldn't break your fall, instead you lay weakly on the stone, cheek numb from the cold.

"See," you heard her voice call in the white mist clouding your vision.
"You enjoyed that, didn't you?"

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苦しみ
Kurishimi

(n). pain; anguish; distress; suffering; hardship