With You I Feel Safe

Nobody Would Understand

Stiles POV~

You know I've always enjoyed history class, but recently it has been kicking my ass. Our history class is a year long class so the final isn't until June so I guess I have time to get my head in the game. Having a dumb ass teacher surely doesn't help the situation. Mrs.Griffin has always been the type of teacher that picks favorites, and if you're not one of those favorites then the class is going to be like hell for you, me and my friend Isaac call it the class from hell.

"Hey Stiles, wait up," I hear Isaac say from down the hallway.

"Whats up Issac," I said once he caught up to me.

"Oh nothing much, I basically stayed up all night studying for this benchmark, but i'm probably going to fail anyways," Isaac said with a smile on his face.

Isaac Lahey is one of my newer friends, he moved here at the beginning of this school year. He is really nice and friendly, plus, he is easy on the eyes as well.

"What benchmark are you talking about?" I asked Iasac in a worried voice.

"You know, the one for history class," Isaac said.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me, I totally forgot all about that," I said to Issac while searching through my bag frantically trying to find my notebook so I could get at least a few minutes of studying in.

"Shit man, that sucks, I guess you're just going to have to wing it then," Isaac said.

You know, sometimes I feel like I am cursed. I have all this shit going on in my life, half I can't even talk about, and now I need to add memory loss to the list. Maybe if I could get more than an hour of sleep every night my brain would function better.

"If I get one more failing grade in this class than my grade is going to drop to a C..... do you know how hard it is to bring your grade up from a C?" I asked Isaac.

"Dude, it's not going to be that hard, plus if you need me to I will totally help you study, since Mrs.Griffin is no help." Issac said while patting me on the back.

In response to Isaac's words of wisdom I told him, "Thanks Isaac, that would be great, but I guess for now lets just go to class so we don't completely miss the benchmark."

Every time I walk into history class, all the memories flood back in of what happened last year. I can still feel the pain and sadness in the same way I felt it that day. Luckily most people who are in my class this year, weren't in it last year, so I guess most of them don't know exactly what happened. In an odd way that brings me comfort, but also fear because they probably know all the rumors of what happened, and don't actually know the truth, well I guess nobody knows the full truth.

Thankfully history class is the last class of the day, so most of the time I just sit there and watch the clock as the seconds tick by until it is finally 3'o clock and we get to leave this hell hole.

"Alright students, class is dismissed, your benchmark grades will be posted tomorrow, I hope everyone did well," Mrs.Griffin said to the class.

I was packing up my bag when Isaac walked over to me and asked, "So how do you think you did?"

"I probably failed, I mean I knew some of the answers, but most of them I just guessed on," I said to Isaac.

" What about you?" I asked.

"Personally I think I did really well, I mean I fucking hope I did, if I make below a 90% then my dad is going to kill me," Isaac said in a way that actually made me worry.

Issac's dad is abusive. He told me this when I kept asking where he got all of those bruise from. I know all about having abusive relationships, so I know what he is going through.

"Isaac, you know that if you ever need to get away from your dad, you can come stay at my place," I said.

"Yeah Stiles, I know," Isaac said as he picked up his bag and walked out of class.

Sometimes I worry about Isaac, even though we are not super close, I still feel like I should protect him. I guess it's because I always wished there was somebody that could have protected me.

I walked out of class and was walking the hallways to get to the doors that lead to the outside. Sometimes I have flashbacks, they rush in my head and I feel like I can't get them out. I keep my head down when I walk so people won't see me. I can feel their judgement stabbing into my brain like knives.

When i'm at school it almost feels like the voices get louder.

"It was your fault", "you let him do it", "you could have stopped it", "you wanted it to happen, didn't you".

All the words keep going through my brain, each one worse than the one before it. The worse part about it is that there is no way to escape it, you can't escape your mind. I've always thought about how terrifying it must be to be alone but then I think about how everyone is alone in there minds, you only have yourself up there, you can't escape it.....ever.

Once I exited the school I walked out over to my jeep. I saw Scott and Allison get into their car. I started to run so I could catch them before they left. I need to talk to Allison about borrowing her Geometry notes.

I finally reached their car and banged on the window.

"What the hell Stiles, you almost gave me a heart attack," Allison said while rolling the window all the way down.

"Sorry," I said while laughing at her reaction."I just wanted to know if I could borrow your geometry notes?" I will have them back to you by tomorrow," I said to Allison in the nicest way possible.

Allison responded with a soft smile, "Sure thing Stiles, let me just grab my bag out of the back."

Allison Argent was Scott's girlfriend and Lydia's best friend. She is so nice and she is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen, I am really glad to have her as a friend.

As Allison got out of the car to walk over to the side door to get her bag out of the back Scott looked over at me and asked, "this morning when you said that you don't think the therapy helped you that much, what did you mean?"

"I don't know Scott, I just feel like there wasn't enough progress being made, almost like I couldn't be fully honest," I said to him, trying my hardest to find the right words to say without actually saying the honest truth.

Allison came back around to the drivers side of the car where I was standing and said, "here you go Stiles, take good care of these notes, I worked my ass off to write all of this stuff down."

"I'll treat them like they are my own," I said to Allison with a grateful smile on my face.

"Stiles, can I come by later so we can talk," Scott asked me, trying to be normal about it since Allison doesn't really know I went through therapy.

Trying not to stutter to much I said, "Ummmm.....well I actually ummm.....I have a lot of studying to do, maybe tomorrow, okay."

"Alright man, just let me know when," Scott said.

I hated lying to Scott, but I just can't talk about it. Nobody would understand.