legend of the lost soul

chapter 1: Eternalism

The undeniably broken existence of a shattered soul could add in many variations to space & time. That is how, began the first of my many lives; due to breaking out of the soul cast, I could now roam about freely and timelessly through the dimensions of this world.

A cold winter night invited me out of my hideout from the sakura tree, I had taken shelter in for 112 years. It was an intimidatingly huge tree, with so much energy flowing through it that it naturally attracted the celestial part of my soul. It stood right in front of Tsukiyomi-no-mikoto shrine in Kyoto, where worshippers prayed for the Moon-God to purify them of their sins & find their soul mates.

I stood near the koi pond looking over the fish existing in a nuance of a world. I thought of their lives as unfortunate catastrophe of events; anybody could see what they were doing, they had to be bared from air, wind, earth. Even Gaya (the cherry blossom home of mine) couldn't touch them. Only if the young prince of fish tribe wasn't such a player and hadn't hurt and cheated on the women of so many different tribes they would still be able to freely roam out of water. But just because of the ambitions and lust of one prince , the whole tribe was banished from mother earth to live in vessels humans called water. When i was still somewhat of an earthly creature we called her Ayu, but she took pity over the young prince, understanding the folly of youth and to help the tribe out decided to sacrifice her form to create a survival vessel for the fishes. Due to her selfless act and benevolence, the greatest of  kami (great gods) decided to gift her with the power of rejuvenation and that is how every being on this Earth must need her.

" You are out often nowadays, Gaya." the gentle voice cut through the breeze and I lost my train of thoughts.

" You very well know I am not Gaya, why do u still persevere to call me so?"

I replied to the old man standing near the shrine, with only a part of him in shadows and rest illuminated by the moonlight. You might mistake him for being the celestial puppet with those wise eyes and an overwhelming persona. Yet I had known of this man since before he was born, even blessed his mother when she prayed to the Gods for a healthy boy and girl. but by some ill fate the boy lived and the girl died in the womb. Even though still in womb the boy prayed for a better farewell to his sister and to let her have visit him once every year. So I took a part of her soul and fed it to the energy of the tree and now every year the blooming cherry blossoms are the sister's way of greeting her brother.

" It's because you stay in Gaya for so long, it has become difficult to perceive you as a different entity.where do you think you will go next? when?" he asked this question with a subtle hint of panic. you wouldn't see it had you been present there, but I had learnt the meaning of that slight chin raising over the years. It showed his displeasure with something clearly.

" I don't know where I will go next, however the time will be soon. The year of change shall be every 15 sacred equinoxes, which arrives in a few days." I replied a little indignantly. All these years and my previous human lives had made me aloof to my surroundings. I could no longer feel sad or happy with the same intensity that i did as a human.

" Gaya , have you thought of how to say goodbye to him yet? Is he even aware of this change? I suppose not. Someone so young might not know what you are. He may not even have the slightest idea on how cruel fate has been to him." his voice exulted sadness, which people his age, who had lost love knew very well. But he was right , the little boy was unaware of his obstacles ahead. To put it simply , childhood knew of no troubles, just of sunny skies and sugary sweets.

" That is between the boy and me, I would appreciate it if you did not try to intervene in this matter. Since the bond is partly my fault, he is my responsibility." 

For this old man I was Gaya of the Sakura tree, but to the boy we were talking about I was his future, past and present. The only wrong I had committed was sharing a part of my soul to help him survive. And that was how I had sealed his fate.

I was a Yue-nei, a shattered soul, and I had committed the crime of saving a life with my own soul as sacrifice.