Michelle and Cameron (a complicated love story)

🌩Confusion🌩

I think back to how things used to be.  Back when we were "best friends". But day by day the feelings got stronger.  The more I cried the more I noticed I really love him.  Tying not to admit the fact that after 10 months my love for him grew stronger. I tried to look at him as a brother,  a best friend nothing more and nothing less but I just couldn't.

Confused if I should tell him not knowing what his reaction would be...  Confused if he felt the same...
Stuck and confused between friendship and relationship. Without a great understanding of what I want. I questioned myself every night. Is this what you want Michelle? Is he gonna treat you the same? And if we did make it will we last?

I had to really open my eyes after awhile. To see what was in front of me the whole time. And also what I really wanted. Around Cameron I was very happy. But deep down very hurt. Not just any hurt tho. The hurt that you can feel In your chest. The pain that makes you heart stop and make you feel like you cant move... All you can do is cry. I sit back and think damn I really love him. But he may not understand what kind of love this is. It's been almost a year and I still get scared around him,  that heart racing, light headed,  weak knees, type of love,  and that shit don't come around often.

How many people can you meet and day damn I really love you, even though y'all don't really know each other its still like damn where have you been all my life kidd. You know it's some shit when people hate seeing y'all together and shit. People always whisper when y'all walk by. Eyes stare and bitches jaws drop. How many people have you met that has really changed your life. Mentally and  emotionally. Being depressed gets hard day by day but staying focused on one person can change all that in a second. And that's where Cameron stepped in. I was confused, and lost. I didn't know what I wanted or who,  I found myself lost in " A world of love" But when I met Cameron nobody else had my attention and it has stayed like that for almost a year now. People come and go day by day but Cameron has really been her for me. Ik I put his through hell and back but he still stayed. And no matter what relationship I got into Cameron was still me #1 choice and that will never change.  My old ways have changed thank God and my new ways people hate.  But that doesn't matter to me ad long as I have Cameron and  myself I'm good.  I've been shown that I don't need people honestly.  The people hat say the will hold you down really don't. But that really shows you who's really your friends.