Timeless

Chapter Two

Today in the cafeteria, something completely bewildering occurred. My flashbacks have been worsening. I really shouldn't call them that though, because they never happened before.

Or did they?

I had just gotten off the school lunch line, and I was making my way back to my table. I wish that my mother would pack my lunch with fresh fruit and mouthwatering, homemade sandwiches, but she always says she's too busy. Too busy for her one and only daughter. The hot lunch makes me feel like gagging, but I really don't want to make my mom's life any more difficult than it already is. After all, she had to deal with the loss of Deanna. But then again, so did I.

All of a sudden, another memory shot me. This time, I was navigating my lunch through the cafeteria. I noticed that I had the same two grotesque burgers before me. All of a sudden, I tripped, and my lunch soared across the room. Then, the scene disappeared, leaving me in shock and confusion. As I was contemplating what I had just witnessed, I stumbled over a table leg and fell hard onto the disgusting floor: a germophobe's worst nightmare. Blood oozed out from my knee, where the impact of the fall was present. As I reluctantly stood up, I was greeted by two things.

First, my lunch, covering every square inch of my body. Ketchup rained from my dull hair. Burger grease slid down my arms. Spoiled milk gradually dripped down my back. I felt as if I had just dove into a giant dumpster. I was almost sure I would attract flies pretty soon.

Additionally, the all-too-recognizable sound of laughter rang in my ears like an ambulance siren. Every single student was looking my way, enjoying the fact that I had suffered, even Justin. There was always something about Justin that I fell in love with from the first time I met him. Of course, we've never exchanged words. but I still fantasize every day. His brilliant, amber eyes and his perfect smile hypnotize me and find their way into every one of my thoughts and dreams. My heart plays hopscotch in my chest when he simply walks into a room. His presence alone never fails to cheer me up when I am having a bad day. Maybe that's what's so special about him. But deep down, I know he would never like a total geek like me. And now, that hypothesis has been proven. I was almost sure that he was different from the other kids my age who completely lack empathy. I guess I was wrong. He, just like everyone else, was giggling at my misfortunes. It was just too much to bear.

Without thinking, I ran to the girls' bathroom as fast as my legs would take me. What else could I have done? The wave of humiliation had wiped over me all at once, and I couldn't have Justin sense that. As soon as I arrived, I locked myself in a stall and slammed the door behind me. Hot, bitter tears leaked from my bloodshot eyeballs, leaving streaks of rivers across my blotchy face. I couldn't control them. I was upset that no one understood me. That I would remain nothing but an outcast to society. That I would always feel alone.

Eventually, a lunch aid stormed into the restroom to retrieve me, but not because she wanted to. It was only because she was forced to. If she had genuinely cared, she would have entered fifteen minutes prior.

"Honey, are you in here?" she asked. I could tell she didn't want to be there solely from the dry, croaky sound of her voice. One can learn a lot about a person without looking at them.

She didn't even know who I was. Well, I couldn't hide out in the cramped, dirty stall forever. So, I slowly unlocked the door and came out. I knew she could tell I was crying by me fire engine red, swollen eyes, but she ignored this reality.

"You need to come back to lunch, sweetie. Classes will start up again in a few minutes."

Honey. Sweetie. I despised those names. "Okay," I muttered. I thought she was mentally psychotic. Yeah, I was just going to parade back in there, wearing my food, with a big, fat grin on my face like nothing had ever happened. Great thinking, lady.

When I returned and sat in solitude, all I could do to get my mind off of the frequent stares I was receiving was to gaze at the clock. I imagined that the minute hand would rotate around in record time. Unfortunately, I do not currently possess that ability. But time did set a new record: going slower than ever before. The seconds dragged on like minutes, and I dreaded each and every one of them.

When the bell finally rang and I had no choice but to go to my three enduring courses, I was gawked at by teachers and students who had not yet observed the event. Luckily, they kept their mouths shut. And it's a good thing they did, or else waterfalls would have cascaded from my eyes.

After I was permitted to leave the building, I took the bus home and headed straight to the shower. No questions asked by my mom and dad nor Vincent as I trudged up the stairs.

Now, I'm lying down in bed, waiting to fall asleep just so I can wake up and live another day. Time just runs continuously, without a care of what happens as the hours tick by. Not wondering who is affected by it. I feel like I am starting to develop a negative attitude, and that is the last thing I need right now. I reach to the floor of my bedside and grope around until I feel what I am searching for: a book of inspirational quotes I constructed for myself several years ago. Every day was really hard for me back then. They still are, but I desired a way to deal with my emotions back then. And every now and then, I long for their solace again. They never fail to cheer me up.

I flip to a random page and lay my eyes on its contents. It reads in large, pink, cursive lettering: "When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or let it strengthen you."

A smile dances across my face. This is exactly what I need.