i miss you the most. i would never tell you that tho, because you think i hate you and i never disputed that. maybe it's better this way. i thought if i never attached myself to you, it will be easy to move on when the inevitable happens. you weren't easy. i dmed you once. asked how you were, told you about my internship. you were proud of me for elevating my activism. we talked about wanting to run away, leave everything behind. you told me your plan to fake your death and i told you my plan of quietly leaving and never coming back. we agreed to say goodbye to each other if we ever did. i don't know where things went wrong. maybe when you told me that you loved me. or when i told you that i loved him. i was scared to ask. i still am. i wish i didn't specify that i loved you platonically, maybe if i didn't i would still have you. even if i wasn't happy, i would still have you. now you have a new girl that doesn't like us talking and i have a new boy who wants me to commit. but you know all about my fear of commitment.
love,
brm
YOU ARE READING
notes to the people i once loved.
Romanceevery chapter is about someone specifically that i have loved, or have wanted to love. this is just a place for me to release what are hopefully my last thoughts on the people i miss.
