Slowly decaying.

12:04 a.m

12:04 is the moment my fingertips and toes went numb.

12:04 is the exact time the hands on the clock in my mind refuses to pass.

12:04 is the time you left your self inside my veins.

The time my blood turned ice cold.

The time I decided to turn to the darkness because I could never love again after this moment.

1:14…

1:14 is the time you left me to clean up the mess you left behind.

1:14 is when I was left to pick up the pieces.

The moment in time which I knew I could never be fixed.

1 year later, I was hospitalised for trying to run the jagged pieces you left me with up and down my arms.

1 year later, I was a danger to myself and others so they locked me in a room with only myself.

1 year later and my brain is being clouded with cobwebs.

1 year later, I’m still buying band aids and gauze trying to fix this broken mind.

1 year later, and my heart and veins are still in broken casts trying to be set free.

1 year…1 year and I’m still carrying around the pieces unsure of how to dispose of.

Unsure if I can ever go out into public without my brain whispering ever so quietly about the memories and shouting at 12:04.

 

Unsure if I’ll ever be sane again

Until I can go out into world and not see your face.

Until I can accept the coldness coursing up and down my arms.

Until the hands on the clock in my mind can pass 12:04.

My finger tips and toes will still remain numb.

And my blood will still remain cold.