Nothing to lose

The Truth?

So the days after that went pretty much the same. They wake up and he takes a shower, grabs his coat and leaves Luna alone. Then coming home late as always with something to eat for them. Luna getting more and more worried of what Yoongi is actually doing but is too affraid to ask him. Until one week was over and something different happend than the usual days.

„Gotta go. Stay here. I'll be back late." Yoongi repeated his words like every day. Then locks the door and disappears until evening or night. Luna sighed as he left again. „Trust him..." she mumbles to herself. „Like how am i supposed to do that, when he isn't even really talking to me anymore? And the further i read in the book the more insecure i get. What if he just toys with me? Like, he got angry when i said he should just kill me if he wanted some sex doll to play around. Pretty strange. Maybe im really not good or worthy enough. All i do is sitting around, reading, cleaning and then watch him return and go to sleep. How am i supposed to prove that i'm worthy then? Would it change a thing if i try to talk to him? God fuck this, i hate these days. I'm just thinking and thinking." Luna walked around the apartment, getting angry at herself and Yoongi for being out so long not talking to her properly. Sometimes she searches for something new but is left disappointed. „I'm so fucking bored.." she cursed and decided to read as always. „Chapter 57, How you know someone isn't into you. -If a person you desire and also watched for a long time, is trying to avoid you or ignore you, it's time to let go. Sometimes people can't be changed or doesn't want to be changed at all. You are more important than to actually feel bad because of a person ignoring you. Maybe the person already has someone he/she was intrested in and you don't even fit into his/her world. Don't be too hard to yourself. First rule in life : Learn to depend on just yourself." the chapter went on for a long time like that and with every sentence Luna read, she got anxious that it is describing the „relationship" Yoongi and she share. If you could say anything like relationship at all to this.

She felt strange. „Why is this hitting me so much? Like, i shouldn't care about this shit but reading it feels so painful.."putting the book down, she hold onto his sweater she was wearing again. „Could i really be in ''love'' in that short amount of time?" she wondered about that for a while and almost lost herself in her thoughts, as suddenly she looked at the door swinging open with Yoongi entering the room. He looked damn drunk.

Luna stood up and wanted to walk to his direction, lend him a hand to get safe to the sofa but before she had a chance to do that, he coughed and broke down to his knees. „What the fuck happend Yoon?" she rushed to his side. „None of your fucking buisness, bitch." he cursed at her and held his shoulder. That hit her sharp like a knife. But she knew this must be because he is angry and or probably drank too much. „Yeah sure. What ever asshole." she answered and stood back up, got into the kitchen to grab some clean towels and went back to him.

„Let me help you -" „Don't fucking touch me girl!" he yelled and interrupted her sentence, while smacking away the towel she reached him to clean him up. Luna narrowed her eyes and held back what she wanted to say. „Fuck you then." was all she replied and a sudden unfamiliar scent went through her nose. It was a sweet scent. Almost like perfume. Her eyes widened and she felt hurt. „Was this dipshit out with another woman? Really? What the fuck?" she thought and couldn't believe it. Meanwhile Yoongi stood up himself and saw her reaction.

„What's wrong? Never seen a man in a fight before?" he asked her with an arrogant tone and his eyes shot through her. „You smell like shit Yoongi. Never knew you were into 'Woman' perfume." you could hear her sarcastic voice and that she wasn't happy at all. „What the hell are you talking about? I told you i have buisness to do and get us money that way. Are we back to our ungrateful brat mood again? If yes, then please spare me this shit and leave me alone." he said while walking past her throwing himself on the sofa. „Ungrateful brat mood? Are you serious right now? You are going outside for hours, not telling me what the shit you are doing, getting all drunk and even hurt yourself now, probably because you are making out with other women that are already in a relationship because i am not enough for you for whatever „circumstances" you said and even want me to fucking leave you alone now?!" Luna raised her voice and looked at him in disbelief. „You know what? I fulfill your wish. What the fuck ever." she quickly added and turned around to leave the apartment. It didn't took Yoongi 5 seconds to rush towards her, grab her wrist and throw her back into the middle of the room.