It all started as a Fan

💜

I was looking forward to seeing her. She comes to most of the fan signs, and every time I see her I can't help but smile because every time I see her, she tells me I've made her day; I made her smile. She asks me how I'm doing, if everything's going well and the way that I want it to. She cares about me and the members, she doesn't just come to get her albums signed; she comes to see us, or she tells me that she comes to see me, because I - Min Yoongi is her bias. She comes to give us gifts, to thank us for changing her life and tell her what she thinks about new music, new shows we've been on, music award shows and our achievements. I see her every so often, but somewhere down the line in the four years she's supported us. I think I fell in love with her.

We talk in secret, as friends through my private instagram; which I made just to talk to her with. I found out so many things about her and she found out a lot about me. I didn't start talking to her after the first time I met her at our very first fansign, but actually we only started speaking two years on. She's smart, intelligent, and thoughtful; something I admire a lot about her and I guess in a way, those are the reasons why I went through all the effort to get to know her better. Handmade gifts every time she came; nothing expensive or branded but instead her own creations; knitted scarves for the winter; specially made jewellery that she'd take classes for so that she could perfect her skills before handing over to us the final finished product.

She's become someone I've learned to trust and confide in, someone like a best friend. But a best friend I cannot meet outside of the fansign hall, because she's pretty well known for her dedication; her running of fansites and fanblogs for us. She's somewhat in the ARMY's public eye, a 'fansite unni or noona' if you will. She's not someone I can just meet up outside, someone I can chill out with because she'd probably end up getting hurt, our career could be put on the line with a simple 'Idol dates a fan' scandal. My schedule doesn't allow me the time either, even if we were to meet it was too dangerous and risky for the both of us, being public with our friendship isn't an option and neither was meeting up in secret; because we both know it'll only end badly. If we can't even meet as friends, how do I ask her out on a simple date?

I see her mid row on the left side of the entire room, holding her camera as she snapped photos of us all to share. I stole a glance at her every chance I got, but something about her seemed a bit odd today. She wasn't smiling like she usually does, her smile today was somewhat forced; she saw me look into her camera through the lens and she moved away to meet her eyes with mine; I smile gently and she returned the favour. One by one the fans come and go, handshakes, signing of albums and what not. I enjoyed seeing ARMYs a lot, it made my heart feel warm to see so many people support us, and they made me truly happy without much effort. But nothing made a fansign better and brighter than having her in the seats.

I saw her at the other end of the table, kneeling in front of Jimin as they held each others' hands - feeling a short pang in my chest I focused on the fan in front of me, one who was shy and hiding her face behind her bangs. Slowly but surely she was next up to be in front of me, and then she was here before my eyes with a change of hair colour, blonde to match mine.

"Yoongi!" Her smile was so bright, I was nearly blinded.

"Y/N! How are you?" Waiting for her response I found myself lost in her eyes.

"I'm feeling better because I'm here. How have you been lately? It's been a while, so I hope everything's okay?" What she meant by a while in the most discreet way was that it's been a while since we had talked, with how much we had to travel and how jam packed our schedule was, I wasn't even able contact her; she would usually talk to me to unwind and I'd do the same, but with how hectic everything is I couldn't even do that.

"I've been okay, so what's new?" I took my time to sign the Love Yourself album, searching for the tabbed page.

"Umm, I'm getting married in two days." It's like time stopped as I paused writing midway through a word.