"So Nadia, what happened that night, what happened during the crash. We understand it's hard, but well, we all want to know." Said Mel. Way to sugar coat it I thought, oh god I knew this would happen. I started to tear up already. "Well we went out on a Maccy D's run. Niall and I were hungry." I smiled to myself as I remebered how Niall and I were in sync with everything, I was in sync with everything with all the boys, but Niall and i shared our love of food. We were watching Grey's Anatomy and when the extended news break came on for Olympics updates we both looked at each other and and nodded, we both knew we wanted Maccy D's, so we got up and all the boys followed laughing at how Niall and I shared food, I had been cuddling with Louis, I'd known him the longest, we had always shared that little bit more and would always have that... connection, I guess you could call it. Now I wont have that again. "Yes and so what happened then?" God she didnt want much did she, I was just angry because my emotions are a wreck because of the accident, I am still in shock and the doctors didn't want me to be here today. "Well we stopped at the lights, they turned green, we were one of the only cars on the road. But when we took of, the drunk driver on the our right decided to speed off and ran straight... into... " I couldnt finish, I burst out crying and buryed my face into Pauls chest. He just whispered "You're doing great, come on keep going, they want you to be strong, for them, for yourself and for the fans." I nodded and continued "us. Harry and Liam were hit worst, they were in the back next to me on the right side, Zayn was driving, he was also hit really bad, Niall was in the passenger seat and Louis on my left. All I remember is them looking at me, schocked and covered me. I couldn't even say goodbye, or that I love them, and I always, always will." I am just talking to my hands, twirling them together, tears streaming down my face. I can't look up, I would be able to control myself, it would remind me where I am, and who im not with. Stay focused Nadia, you can do this, not long now and you wont be alone again. "Thats just terrible. How have you been since then? Recovering okay?" Mel continued. "I have been in shock for a while, I would wake up thinking it was a normal day, waking up in our appartment, but then I would freak out that one of them wasn't next to me, then I would try to find them and the hospital staff, that were amazing with me, I'd like to thank them very much for their consistant loving care in a really hard time. Anyway, one of them would have to retell me what had happened, it hurt so much to forget everything then remember it again and remember the pain I felt the day before. This went on for a while. I still sometimes just think they are on tour without me or that they are just out and i'll see them later. But then i remember I wont ever see them again. I miss them so, so, so much, sometimes I just can't take it, I love them so much more though, I can't live withou them by my side." I'm crying a lot now, im so embarraresed, but I cant help it , it hurts so much. "That is very touching, well thats all the time we have for today, we hope to see you again very soon Nadia, thank you so much for your time." Little does she know that no one will see me again soon. She talks so brightly, I can't stand it, im depressed and being constantly monitered because of my depression and shock. Little do they know how I really feel and my plan.
