Remember Me

Chapter Two

   (Louis POV)

"Are you- are you cutting?"  There's no doubt about it Liam was hurt.  It was etched over in his shaken voice.  Tears welled up in my eyes.

"No."  I said firmly.  It came out more harsh than I planned it.

"Wrist check."  He walked over to me rolling up my sleeve on my right arm.  Already formed scars were revealed as well as fresh, angry cuts marking my skin.

"I'm sorry, Li," I manage to squeak out.  And I really was.  Staring into his puppy brown eyes made me felt even more guilty.

By this point tears were streaming down my face as I choke back a sob.

"Lou..." He whispered softly.  He engulfed me in a hug as I buried my face in his chest.  Sobs tore through me as I closed my eyes tightly.  "It's ok Lou."  He said gently rubbing small circles on my back.

After a few moments passed by I was able to calm myself down.  Liam pulled back from the comforting embrace whispering, "You have to tell me when you're feeling low enough to cut yourself."

I nodded softly feeling drained after all those tears. "Go to bed Louis, we'll talk tomorrow."  He gave me a sad smile as I climbed in my bed.  My eyes start to feel heavy.  "I'm sorry Liam." I said.

"I know you are." That was the last thing he said before I fell asleep.

~-~

I woke up feeling more rejuvenated.  That was until I remember what happened the day before.  I groaned to myself before scratching my wrists angrily.  "You're so stupid." I murmured to myself.  When blood began to peek out I went to the bathroom  and put my wrist under the tap.  Cool water came from the faucet as I moaned softly.  I was in alittle discomfort but it felt so good.

I turn off the water before putting on a clean long-sleeve shirt.  Savory smells smacked my nostrils as I walked downstairs.

I walked in the kitchen to see my mum slaving over the stove making blueberry pancakes, bacon and eggs.  I hugged her quickly before grabbing a plate.  "Hungry aren't ya."

I smiled before pecking her cheek. "Thanks Mum."

Once I finished eating she said, "You don't have to go to school today."  I gave her a questioning look before she continued. "Liam said your feeling kinda depressed."

My mum doesn't know I cut myself but I do tell her I'm depressed. "Oh."

That's all I said.

"He said that yesterday while you were asleep." I just nodded.

I placed my dishes in the sink before she said, "Why don't you go somewhere or do something so you can feel better."

"Mum, I don't want to go anywhere.  Maybe I just wanna wallow in self pity." I responded sassily.

"Come on Louis.  I heard they need volunteers in the new hospital by Holmes Chapel."

"I dunno if it'll make me feel better"

"Please Louis, it might help."  She looked at me with such pleading eyes I couldn't refuse. "Plus I already signed you in for Saturday."

"Fine Mum." I said.  She smiled before kissing my cheek.

"Thanks Lou."

"'Thanks Lou' what?" Asked Lottie as she entered the kitchen with Fizzy. 

"Nothing."  I replied.

"Come on, tell us." Fizzy said jumping into the conversation.

"That if you boogers keep talking I'll eat all the breakfast mum made."

As I said the word 'breakfast' they all pounced at the food in the stove.

I walked back upstairs thinking about what I got myself into.

~-~

"So my mum basically forced me to volunteer into this hospital thing because she thinks I'm depressed."  I finished, slamming my locker door shut.  I didn't do much yesterday when I was out of school.  I mostly slept and ate.

"I'm so sorry Louis!  I didn't know your mum would make you do something. I shouldn't of told her you were depressed."  Liam said running his hands through his floppy hair.

I rolled my eyes clutching my math books tightly on my chest. "It's fine Liam, I need to get out the house anyways."

"Well did you look up the place?"  Liam asked as we walked side by side. 

"No, my mum had a couple brochures of the place.  Its basically more like a rehab hospital than a regular hospital."

"Is it for druggies?" He asked.  I rolled my eyes at such foolishness.

"No, Dum dum, it's more of a physical therapy place than addiction."  Right after the words flew out of my mouth the bell rung loudly.

I felt nervousness prick at my tummy.  Math was next and so far I haven't seen Nick.  I didn't want him to start bringing me down again.

"Well, see you at lunch Lou.  Be careful." Liam said then he dashed down the corridors.

I sighed softly as I walked to my math class.

Out of nowhere, I fell on the cheap, cold tile floors.  "Thought you can miss me, eh."  A loud voice said.  I looked up to see Nick towering over me. 

He kicked me in the face twice and in the stomach three times as he yelled harsh insults at me.

"Fag, Your such a piece of shit you ugly, worthless trash."

Tears welled up in my eyes, not because if the hurtful comments, but the trueness of the words.  I couldn't help but cry a bit.

"Pathetic."  Was the last thing he before I heard footsteps fading.  As soon as he was gone, I ran to the restroom.  I took a long glance at myself in the mirror.  A large purple bruise was painted on my face.

Ugly.

I looked closer at myself.  My once vibrant sea-green eyes were grey, and had bags underneath them.  My nose was too big and my hair was always an unkept mess.  Voices filed my ears.

Cut.  No one will care.

"But Liam cares, " I whimpered softly.

You think Liam actually cares.  Your a burden to him.  He can't wait till your gone.

I nodded.  That is true.

Cut.

I locked myself in one of the stalls and dug my hand for a pencil sharpener in my backpack.  I quickly found a small square one.  I unscrewed it and the cool metal razor fell in my clammy hands.

Cut.

I rolled up my grey hooded sleeve and took a deep breath.

I finally dug the razor in my skin.  The first cut was shallow, but I continued they got deeper.

Ugly.

Cut.

Useless.

Cut.

Worthless.

Cut.

Faggot.

Cut.

I made a total of four deep gashes on my arm.  I didn't cut too deep because I still had other classes left, but I cut just enough to feel the pain.

I cleaned my cuts the best I could with the cheap paper towels and cold water.  I rolled down my sleeve as I heard the late bell rung.

I walked to Math class feeling more and more sick to my stomach.