You sigh in approval as you lay here with your head on his chest. You feel it expanding and contracting with each breath he takes and you hum when you feel him kissing your forehead. You look up at him lazily through your lashes and catch his goofy grin.
"That was the best nap I've ever had," You say as you kiss him on his naked chest. Shawn snorts a laugh and strokes your chin with his thumb. Your eyes find his and when you see the loving look on his face, you freeze. Oh, you know that look. You know what that will lead to.
You've been dating Shawn for almost 9 months now, and you two still haven't told each other you love one another.
It isn't that you don't love Shawn, or vice versa. It's never been about that. You two know how you feel, you just haven't told each other yet. And that problem is more of an one sided issue.
'I love you', has to you always meant 'I'm leaving you'. That was the way both your dad and past lovers had left you. Therefor, you couldn't bare to hear those words again.
But Shawn loves you. And he wants to tell you, so bad. The problem is, he just doesn't know how you'd take it.
You, however, do know how you would take it.
"Shawn," you stop him and sit up. "Don't." You have your back turned to him as you look at the door, tempted to use it. You can't handle this. Not now, not ever.
"Why?" He asks from behind you. You feel him sitting up too as you shake your head.
"What should I not do?" He asks again. You feel his breath on the back of your neck.
You stand up and pull your pants up your legs. Shawn doesn't move.
"What are you afraid of?" He asks you.
"Shawn..."
"What? What is it?"
"What we have is so great, why do you have to..."
"Why do I have to what?!" He raises his voice.
"Why do you have to ruin it?!" You can't seem to stop the words from coming out. You tense and watch as his face falls. You hurt him.
Ignoring the pit in your stomach, you turn for the door. Before you open it, you stop to face him. You shake your head,
"I'm sorry fo--"
"I love you." Your fingers on the door freezes. Time freezes. Everything freezes. With your gaze glued to the door and your body still, you feel his presence moving. From the bed, footsteps coming closer, until his warmth radiates to your back. Yet, you can't find it in you to move. You feel a hand brushing your hair back. You feel breath on your neck. You feel him.
"I'm sorry about your dad," He says as he prepps kisses along your exposed skin of your neck. "I'm sorry about your past lovers,"
You feel a hand at the top of your blouse and as it starts unbuttoning it. You close your eyes when his teeth graces your earlobe.
"I'm sorry people left you." He reaches the buttons over your breasts and your breath hitches as his thumb brushes against your clothed nipple. "And I'm sorry about the way they did it."
His hands leave your blouse and you gasp when he presses you up against the door.
"But I'm not sorry for loving you," He rasps and drags your upper clothe down your arms and to the floor. You moan when he kisses up your lower back, up towards your shoulder. He turns you around and presses his forehead softly against yours. You shiver as his fingers tease you below your bra.
"'Cause I do," He tells you softly. "I love you." His eyes darken.
"And I'm going to fuck you into believing it. Against this door. You're going to look me straight in the eyes as I tell you I love you, and you're going to take it." He peels a strap off your shoulder with one hand as he unbuttons your pants with the other.
"Okay?" He asks you.
"Okay," You say and he smashes his lips against yours. His hands lifts your legs to wrap around his waist and you moan as he presses his core against yours. His lips leave yours as it travels down your jaw, neck, to your collarbones and your fingers instantly find his delicious curls. He unclasps your bra in a quick motion as you work on his belt. With one hand holding you up, he manages to pry his jeans off to throw together with his shirt. Your hands travel down his neck to his back as you feel the muscles tensing beneath your fingers.
You were always a sucker for back muscles.
Shawn inches his head away from yours and looks at you with that look. You close your eyes under his intense gaze.
"Look at me," He commands. His fingers presses against your clit above your panties and your eyes instantly snap open.
"I love you," Shawn tells you. The only thing you can seem to focus on is the delicious pressure of his thumb on you. You squirm as it works in a slow, oh so slow, circular motion on your bundle of nerves. You feel a torturing build up creeping up on you, yet it's not enough. Not close to enough. You grind against his hand as you throw your head back against the door.
"I love everything about you," He says again. "I love your smile," You feel the familiar clench deep, deep inside you. But it's not enough.
"I love your laugh," He slows his motions but applies a tad bit more pressure. You clench your teeth.
"I love your eyes, your hair, your nose." He quickens his pace in his thumb and you moan as he leans his forehead against yours.
"I love your body," He rasps and your eyes flutter as you feel the strong build up in your lower region.
"The way it responds to me. The way it writhes for me."
"Shawn," You breathe. You're close. So close.
"I love your moans." He retracts his finger and peels both your underwear down your legs. With one quick motion, he slams his length in you. You moan out loudly as he drives his core into yours merciless.
"I love your pussy." He whispers in your ear. You hold onto his shoulder as you feel your legs shaking. You're there and as he whispers those three words in your ear again, you feel yourself letting go. Shawn stills in you as you feel him filling you up. With both his hands on your thighs and his length still buried inside you, he kisses your forehead.
"I love you when you cum," He says as you look at him wearily. "How you give yourself to me."
"But most importantly, I love the way you love me. How you take me for exactly who I am, not for who I used to be or who I could be. I love you." Shawn tells you. You look at him with tears brimming your eyes.
And as you let the feeling wash over you, you take a breath and tell him,
"I love you too."
