hide n seek | g.d

prologue | grayson

June 17th, 2017.
"gray."
I tilted my head to the side and let my eyes slowly wander from my bedroom ceiling over to my doorway, where my twin brother was standing with two coffees and a white paper bag.
"I brought you breakfast." he said with a slight smile, walking over towards me and sitting down on the edge of my bed.
I turned my gaze back to the ceiling and stayed mute. I wasn't in the mood to talk. I did a silent prayer in my head that he'd get the hint I wasn't hungry and would leave.
we sat in silence for a few minutes, I could tell tension between us was making him uncomfortable, but I didn't care. he'd shift every few seconds which would made the bed shake, and I got so annoyed to the point where I about kicked him off the bed.
ethan ran his fingers through his hair and sighed, looking at me with so much pity it made me sick.
"look, I know you loved her, but-"
I cut him off. "love, not loved."
he widened his eyes. "wow, first thing you've said to me in weeks." he said, sarcasm dripping off his words. "if she cared the slightest about you, don't you think she would've called by now? I mean for gods sake grayson, it's been three months."
I shut my eyes and shook my head.
"I'm not going to let you shut me out, I want to help-"
I cut him off again. "I don't want your help."
"then what the fuck do you what me to do?" he shot up off the bed, making it shake again and  my annoyance level go up. "do you want me to tell you you're making the right decision by skipping meals and mopping over a girl who clearly didn't give a fuck about you in the first place?"
my eyes were still closed when I heard him slam the door.
I felt a wave of anxiety and heartbreak suddenly come over me. I mean, I figured a long time ago that she didn't care for me anymore but hearing it out loud didn't make it hurt any less. it hit me harder than I thought it would.
I squeezed my eyes as tight as could and shook my head faster. a sob fell from my lips and tears began to fall down my face, seeming to never end.
I couldn't catch my breath, nor could I think properly.
a few months before I met her, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I feel abandoned, lost even. I was just living without a purpose.
and I know it's cheesy to say, but goddamn it, viv.
from the first day we met, you were my purpose.
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ehhhh idk how I feel about this but this is just to describe what's going on.
the chapters will get a lot longer as this story progresses