Forever His (Connor x Hank)

Chapter Nine

"Why didn't you just come home to me? You didn't have to-Hank, violence is never the answer.. you could lose your job over this." Connor said sternly as he bandaged Hank's hand. The older man didn't say anything, just sat in brooding silence as his boyfriend lectured him.

"You shouldn't let what happen control us, Hank.. it happened, and even though we wish it didn't we can't change it." Connor went on, also trying to convince himself of that as well.

"How are you so okay with this, Connor? Those men, they-they're free! They could hurt you." Hank shouted without really meaning to. Connor flinched at the sound. Hank instantly felt like shit. He took Connor's hand in his and mumbled many apologizes.

"I think you've made sure they won't ever try again." Connor mumbled with a small smile, looking up at his boyfriend and Hank could tell in his eyes that he was at least grateful.

"I can't lose you, baby. When I think about what could have happened it just makes me so mad. A world without you isn't worth living in." The greyed man confessed as he wrapped his arms around the smaller of the two.

"Shh, I'm not going anywhere." Connor returned the embrace and it felt so good, he would always love being held by him. They made their way to the bedroom after that and changed into their pajamas, cuddling up against each other on the big mattress.

Connor couldn't help but remember all of the things they'd done on that bed. Those times Hank would go down on him or Connor on Hank, or when Hank would make love to him. He missed it. The thought scared him at first, he was scared that he'd never want to be touched by anyone ever again but it's been almost a month since it happened and he's been craving Hank's touch, he knew he probably shouldn't but that didn't stop him from asking.

"Hank." Connor whispered into his partner's ear, causing the older man to shiver. Connor pressed his body against Hank's. "I want you."

"You have me." Hank grumbled sleepily. Connor grinned slightly and wrapped his arm around him, his hand brushing against Hank's boxer briefs.

"I want you to touch me, to make love to me."

That once sentence stirred a heat down in his abdomen but also a guilty pain in the older man's chest.

"Connor, you know-I-baby.. it's barely been a month, I couldn't.." Hank stumbled over his words as he felt a hand being slipped down his boxers, soft fingers brushing against the already half hard member-

"Connor, stop."

The hand retracted quickly and so did the embrace. Hank lifted himself up and turned on the lamp beside him so he could see his boyfriend, a frown against his lips as he saw the tears forming in those brown eyes he adored so much.

"I want you, don't you ever think I don't. But for now, I just can't.. I want to make sure you're fully okay first before I put your body through that, okay? I know that may seem selfish and I'm sorry, but I love you-" Hank was interrupted by Connor pulling him down into a soft but passionate kiss.

"I love you, too. Goodnight, Hank." Connor pulled away and laid down, facing away from his boyfriend. He heard Hank breathe out a sigh before wrapping his arms around Connor's slim form.

It didn't take long before Connor heard Hank's steady breathing, letting him know he was sound asleep. Connor laid there for a few more minutes just thinking about how things used to be. He wished things could just go back to normal, it'd probably make him heal faster. He understood Hank's thought process, but he couldn't help but feel the desire building in his abdomen, a heat so familiar that he never had go without help before. It was strange to him to feel that sexually frustrated.

With a long sigh he pressed his fingers against his temple, the LED going out and tracing the circle. The action forced his erection down, but he was still left with the longing feeling of wanting to be touched by the man he loves.

~*~

"Okay, Connor, sit down on the mat." Dr. Robin said as they sat down on the mat in front of the detective. The brunette did as he was told and sat with his legs crossed just as Dr. Robin was showing him.

"Now, just close your eyes. Clear your mind. Think of absolutely nothing."

Connor tried his best, he really did, but thoughts kept jumbling together. He thought of  Hank, how he wouldn't touch him. How things would be different if he wasn't stupid and let himself get assaulted, he reminded himself.

You're really continuing with these pathetic thoughts, Connor? You disappoint me.

Amanda.

Connor was stuck again, he couldn't open in eyes. He was forced to watch as Amanda walked towards him. The world around them was pitch black as she walked, her heels loud against what he assumed was the floor.

"Amanda, please, stop-"

Connor had said this out loud, making Dr. Robin concentrate even harder.

Fight back, Connor. Don't let her take control of you.

Dr. Robin's voice rang through his head, making Amanda look around in pure annoyance.

You are nothing. You will never amount to anything.

Push back. Push her out. It's the only way.

Amanda had a look in her eyes that looked as though she was daring him to try something. She looked down at the detective who was still on the ground, looking up at her with terror in his brown eyes.

"You-you're not real. Get out." Connor's voice was shaking as he stood up in front of Amanda, towering over her but she was still so terrifying.

How do you know that, Connor? I look real, don't I? She asked with a smile, a smile filled with malice as her delicate hand rose to touch Connor's face. The detective was frozen once again as she took another step closer, her other hand coming to touch the opposite side of his face

A burning feeling came from her hands. He swore he couldn't feel pain but it felt like his head was going to burst, a weight pushing him down to his knees. Amanda smirked as tears fell from his eyes.

Connor, don't let her win! Concentrate!

"How?!" He screamed, the heat becoming unbearable against his skull. His LED was flashing red and Dr. Robin could tell that a shut down was imminent if they didn't do something quick.

They brought out their hand and touched Connor's wrist, connecting their minds long enough so they could pull him out from Amanda's grasp.

Connor's scared brown eyes finally opened as he fell backwards onto the floor.

"I-I can't believe you made me do that." The brunette stuttered as he scrambled to get up.

"I'm sorry, Connor. It doesn't always take just one time, it could take multiple sessions-"

"No, I'm.. I'm done." Connor announced before slamming the office door shut.

~*~

Author's Note: wow this was low key a dramatic chapter, forgive me lol