Joe was surprised by how easy it was to be rich and famous. It required absolutely no effort on his part. It just...happened. Suddenly everyone in his small town knew who he was. He was approached on a daily basis by someone new wanting to introduce themselves. One time this guy named Jeff came up to him and asked if he could hook him up with his publisher. Joe took down the guys number and said he’d get in touch. He never did of course; Joe was very busy with television appearances and book signings.
And then there were the women. So many different types and looks and they all wanted Joe. It was astounding. Some were shy and he had to approach them but most of the time they came to him. He actually preferred the shy girls, they were always less reserved once you got their clothing off.
His email was flooded and he actually had to hire an assistant to handle that for him. She was one of his women. He paid her well and gave her medical benefits. He name was Jen. She’d stay over sometimes. Joe was quite fond of her but she was young, well-read and reckless. She would usually show up in the middle of the night, drunk, holding some bottle or other, pounding on the front door of his multi-million dollar home. Twice he had to make other women leave. One was not happy about this. She cried and Jen slapped her ass on her way through the door. That made Joe a little uncomfortable and he scolded Jen as the other girl rand down the drive bawling.
The night he fired her was awkward. Jen had gotten into pills and her behavior had become even more erratic and she had completely stopped doing what he had hired her for. It was obvious their time together had to come to an end.
They had just finished having sex and Joe was sitting on the end of the bed in his new silk boxers. Jen was in the bathroom crushing up pills and snorting them. He knew what needed to be done. He got up to turn off the news but got distracted by his reflection in the mirror. His stomach was looking really good, that personal trainer was paying off. He was pondering why she hadn’t hit on him yet when Jen stumbled out of the restroom. She absolutely disgusted him when she got like this.
She sloppily ran her hands over his solid torso and blew hot air on his neck. He pushed her away.
“Look, Jen, this isn’t working out anymore.”
She froze, then snapped at him, “What?”
“I’ve got to let you go.” He hated saying it. She was just a lost young girl.
“What?” She replied icily.
He was surprised she wasn’t taking it better. But then again, he hadn’t exactly been thinking about the ethical and moral implications of their relationship.
“I’m going to give you a nice severance package,” he offered reluctantly, “But I can’t have you work for me anymore.”
“What?”
He got distracted by the TV. He stared at the news blankly. A woman named Gretchen Stonewall had been brutally murdered in Palm Beach. He mutilated remains were found washed up on the shore. Her picture looked vaguely familiar. He immediately realized she had the same name as the mistress in his first novel. She even…
“Oww!” Joe shrieked.
Jen had bit his shoulder. He looked at the welt then at Jen just as she swung a right cross into his temple.
YOU ARE READING
The Writer's Block
HumorWhen boring Joe Smith decides he wants to be a writer his fate is dramatically altered and all sorts of crazy stuff happens. There's an asian old lady in it. She's magic. And... and... it's funny?