I was trying to heal
but I can't
with my parents reminding me of my wrongs
I always go back to square one
I am traumatized from what I did to myself
I am still trying to heal from disappointment, embarrassment, and heartbreak
do not expect me
to be happy
when i have lost everything
including my own trust
I do not know where to go
no one has their arms open for a hug
I am beyond severe depression
at this point I am dying from depression slowly each day
I do not want to exist in this body
In this way
In this situation
I cannot just leave
I am stuck
I feel exposed
I feel disgusting
I feel every burning ounce of hatred that once lived in my body catch flame again and boil inside the pit of my stomach where I try to puke it all up but I can't.
and I am still in love with you
My parents hate me and I am a disgusting human for exposing myself but I am still in love with you and you fucking hate me.
You are happy without me and you are existing, kissing someone else, having sex with someone else
without me.
I truly do not know how much longer I can take all of this pain
because it is beyond what I can handle.
I am alone and absolutely broken.
YOU ARE READING
in dog years i'm dead: a collection of non-fiction short stories and poetry
Poetry2018 was the year of hurting and learning. this book is the digital version of the pain I endured while going through some of the hardest things. I was broken, eaten alive, puked up, burned, and ripped to shreds. Until I could learn how to exist aga...
