David walked out of Taco Bell feeling very full. He had purchased a giant burrito with EXTRA beans. He jumped into the car and put his seatbelt on because safety is important. David drove back to camp. Once he was back, he realized it was time for him to go night night. He brushed his toothers, combed his hair floof, and put on cozy tree pajamas. He settled into bed and pulled the covers up over him. He shut his eyes and felt himself drift asleep. But, he couldn't sleep. Why?
"I HAVE TO POO!" David flew out of bed and ran to the bathroom hurriedly. He plopped down on the toilet and pulled his pants down. He PUSHED as hard as he could b u t, nothing came out. He tried again and again and again, and again, but he still couldn't poo.
"GWWWWWWWENNNNNNN!" He whined.
Gwen SLAMMED open the door to the cabin and stomped over to David who was crying on the toilet. "wHaT dO yOu WaNt YoU pIecE oF pOo???"
David sniffled. "THAT'S THE PROBLEMMMMMM!" He sobbed into his hands. "I CAN'T POOOOO!"
Gwen sighed.
David cried.
And the platypus quacked.
Max ran into the bathroom. "dAvId sHuT tHe FuCk uP iM tRyIn tO sLeEp YoU pIeCe oF sHiT!"
David cried again. "I NEEEEEEED TO GO POO POO!"
Max facepalmed. "Then G O!"
"MY BURRITO WON'T COME OUT!" David sobbed.
Nurf gayily skipped into the room. "Is David constipated?" He asked.
Max shook his head yes regretfully.
Nurf gayily skipped out of the room and returned a couple minutes later with the other campers.
"You know what to do guys!" Nurf shouted. The entire camp started cheering David's name, hoping they could support him with his pooing.
Max and Gwen shook their knees in disappointment as everyone else cheered on David.
David pushed really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really H A R D . And then everyone heard a teeny tiny plop in the toilet water. David wiped his bootay and looked in the toilet at his masterpiece. He reached into the toilet and pulled out his masterpiece. He showed it too all of the campers.
"Zat is not un poo! Das en egg!" Dolph pointed out.
David cradled the egg in his arms. "MY CHILD!" He screeched. The egg began to crack and David started crying. The egg fell on the ground and Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo popped out. (South Park character)
"HOWWWWWWWWWWDY HO!" He cheered while hopping around on the ground.
Max and Gwen said "What the fuck." In unison.
Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo pooped out an egg. It hatched and Kenny came out.
Kenny said "Hmmdhhehehwiwhwbjehejd." Then Kenny died.
Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo was so sad that he died too.
The David was depressed forever.
Happily ever after, the end :)
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written by luna and special guest LazyGayAlex
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David Can't Poo
Non-FictionDavid realized he had to take a big dump but then he figured something out...