Brontide

Chapter Twenty

Dear Devon,

Please know that I would've called you as soon as I could if I hadn't misplaced your number. I deeply regret that, and I'm not sure exactly how to explain what has happened. I'm not even sure if the past few days have been real or if they've been some figment of a very fucked up imagination. I honestly wish it were all fraudulent, though if I had any doubt that this wasn't true then I wouldn't be writing this letter.

It is now November when I write this. The first thing I wish to say is that I'm sorry, I'm so unbelievably sorry for a number of things. I don't know where to begin, perhaps with the fact that we were never really close growing up. I wish I could change that, because now you're time zones away and difficult to reach, and these are not things one wants to think about when they need their elder and only brother the most. I'm sorry for not trying harder to be close with you. In a way I guess I was always afraid that perhaps you didn't want much to do with me. The fact that every time I have sporadically called you the phone is always picked up and I'm never hung up is extremely comforting. I'm sorry for being such a stubborn prat sometimes, and I'm sorry for letting your advice fall on deaf ears. There is a thing happening with Fred Weasley and I that I guess you would call, "becoming more than friends". On days where I feel alone and tired, he reminds me what it feels like to smile.

However, this is, without a doubt in my mind, the thing I am the sorriest for and will haunt me until I'm six feet under. Devon, I left you with the understanding that our parents would be safe from harm, and though I didn't directly cause this I feel that the blame should be mine entirely. My friends and I are currently in hiding, and as were Mum and Dad except I wasn't with them when it happened. I am told that their safe house burned down overnight, most likely by someone we're at war with. Our parents are gone, along with everyone else the unit housed. I wish I could've been there; perhaps I could've prevented it somehow, I don't know what use I would've been, but...they're gone, and I'm so, so sorry that we weren't able to see them and unite our family again like I promised. If you never wish to speak to me again I more than understand, because I'm loathing myself more and more every day and am starting to wish that I'd burned with the building.

If I could, however, ask one thing of you - please, please stay in America. I understand that I'm not exactly the best person to talk to about safety advice but please just trust me on this. Britain is the worst place for you right now and I couldn't bear it if something happened to you as well. When you do come back, I'd like to hold a proper funeral for them and the others who died. We had a small memorial for them at the site where it happened. I'm sorry I wasn't able to tell you about it in time; it was hard enough for me to get the nerve to write this letter and it all happened very quickly. I hope you can forgive me one day. If you wish to respond for whatever reason, please give Nestor about a day or so to rest before sending him back; I've never sent him on a journey this long before.

Take care, I miss you.

Your sister,

Cassie

Light flurries had begun to fall from the late afternoon sky, clinging to strands of my overgrown blonde hair and landing on the parchment clutched in my hands. I read the letter over and over again; I was trying to make sure I was finally satisfied with it, rubbing my tired and puffy eyes with the sleeve of my coat. I had written and disposed of several letters since finding out about the fire, unhappy with how each one sounded. 

After growing sick of the cramped fallout shelter I'd taken my parchment, quill, and ink outside with me to dwell on a rock next to the nearby river, hoping for some peace and tranquility. The leaf-coated ground was frosted over in the slightest bit; the pale grey sky above wrapped around the forest like a blanket, and the naked trees swayed and rustled with the slightest breeze. The river, which was narrow enough where I could see the other side quite easily, strolled along at a leisurely pace and gave me a small feeling of calmness.