First Love #4 » m.yg ✓

06

RECORDING 06

Annyeong. I’ve been on hiatus for a couple of months and that's the first thing I thought of saying. [sighs] Well, anyway, it’s March 10th now. My birthday was done and gone— for good, in my perspective.

Mom bought me my very own laptop. Now I don't have to solely use my computer and bring my music anywhere. Jin. . uh, he. .baked me a cake. Dad seemed happiest for that more than wishing me a happy birthday. Ah, yeah, we celebrated at the house. I don't want them coming here and they made me choose so.

Speaking of birthdays, Taehyung’s was on the 30th of December. It was horrible. Having to spend Christmas and your own birthday in jail. Just because he couldn't bring hardcore proof. I tried my best for the interrogation and honest interview with the lie detector outside my mother's permission. It didn't work. They still wouldn't believe me. Plus, I only found out it was his day when I got there on the day. I had cupcakes and gave the box to him, instead. To make him feel better.

To say the least, I wasn't the only one who'd come to visit him. Even the woman named Clara came by, bearing a basket of goodies. I'm not sure what happened after that, but I left when things were looking serious on their end.

Just like how Tae did right before Jisoo came to the bleachers to break up with me.

My producer finally cooperated and told me the tune was good. The lyrics need a bit of revising to sugarcoat a few words. Nothing like a couple of metaphorical words can't solve.

This mixtape is going to be my life. I can feel it. It's not for my parents, I dedicate it to myself. For rising up despite the struggling I had to go through to reach where I am right now.

It took me a long while since I had to leave for an indefinite break. Everything was stressing me out the last 6 months. ., ‘I sound like a big baby, but nobody will care and nobody will know about this other than me and this. . .recorder.’

See, I had a panic attack in the first 3 months. Due to. . .the pressure of the fans rushing the comeback. . .I had it coming, I knew it was bound to get to me. Truth is. ., I don’t want to give up that easy. ., once I graduate, I can finally reveal my face and move to a better, bigger company who treats their employees well.

Would you believe. . . [chuckles, sniffs] my producer was only able to approve of it (the break) when they saw evidence that I couldn't breathe. . ?

Being treated like a fucker who looks like he’s always lying and has to have the Doctor’s prescription before getting a break for this condition, it sucks. It’s never easy.

Plus, Mom found out I have this big exam coming up in a week. Told me to go off work and focus on the finals. Before officially taking my summer vacation and come back in June for my Sophomore Year. Then it’s just going to be two years before graduation.

[squeaking swivel chair becomes louder]

I can’t wait to graduate and get out of my family’s hair. Pursue the job I want. Be the best rapper there is in the history.

‘That’s my main goal for now. Fighting! Min Yoongi. Start this new year with better life choices. . ’

[End of Tape]

[ posted AUGUST 1 2018 ]

author's note: p.s. just realized i started first love on the same date i ended begin. this is amazing!!!! hope you enjoyed reading~