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Sometimes that seems like a great place to be. Closed off from it all, and no need of love, no need of family.

To be honest, I have erected a huge, huge wall between myself and Mom, myself and Kaeleigh, who I avoid

Whenever I can. Can't stand that hurt, ever-present and her eyes. Eyes and hurt that mirror my own.

Anyway, she makes me mad, mad that she hides in your own mind so well. Hides there from Daddy.

The only person I want to be close to is Daddy, and he doesn't even see me. It's like I'm not even there.

Most of the time I muddle through, pretending I don't need to be held, need to be touched, kissed.

But then needs swells, a thunderheader. Storms down, sweeps over me like a summer flash flood of need.

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