I woke up in hospital that night. Everything around me seemed so strange, blurry, it was horrible. For a minute I felt fine and started to sit up. That's when I saw Alfie sitting at the end of the bed, his eyes full on worry and pain. All these memories came flooding back to me. The meet up, the words, the fans. I couldn't take it anymore and led back down, tears streaming down my eyes.
I feel hands cup my face and a single tear drop lands on my forehead. "Zoe. Zoe please. Say something please, I'm so sorry, I love you so much" he cried kissing my forehead where his tears fell. "Alfie, I...I'm sorry" i blurted out. I tried to say more but the words wouldn't come out, it was like my throat was held together, stopping me from breathing. I gasp and gasp for air but my lungs suddenly stop working. Do you ever get the feeling that for a few seconds it seems your drowning...well that was happening to me, but it wouldn't go away. I knew what was happening. It always happens. Panic attacks. I've had them since I was only a little girl, but none as bad as this. I hear alfie crying, feeling helpless and trying to do something, but it's too late, I'm gone, and for a few minutes it seems as if I'm dead, am I dead? Surely you can't think when your dead...right? But after 3 minutes my brain cuts off and I'm left in utter darkness...falling....back.....to.....sleep.....
