im going to put a song for almost every entry
song: knocking on your heart- Maggie Lindemann
So today is 7/25/18 and its 12:14am. Today was dumb. I cried so much today and I don't cry. I cried because I over-think too much sometimes and in over-thinking I crushed my own heart before I knew if there was a good reason behind something. So turns out everything was fine and it is working out. That's the first time I cried today. I was driving the whole time this happened so I cried about 5 more times before I got home. and then the other times I cried was because I miss one direction. we all do though. that's not the point of this. the worst part about me getting my heart crushed is that I cant tell my family about it. they wouldn't ever understand for a few reasons. 1) Im bisexual and I had to tell them it was a phase so things would stop being so weird 2) they don't know about this girl 3) I like a girl and 4) I met her online. they don't approve of me having online friends or being gay so an online girlfriend isn't going to get their approval. I really like this girl though. I need to talk to her and get to know her more before I ask her out but I know when the time is right for both of us one of us will say yes. I hope the time is right soon. no one I know will probably ever see this but for anonymity I will call her flower. flower and I have been talking for about a month. actually 3 days until its a month. I think about her constantly. she makes me so happy. she understands me so well. and it doesn't hurt that she is insanely gorgeous. but if I continue to write what I like about her ill be up for hours and this entry would never end. im exhausted mentally, physically, and emotionally from today. I just wish I could hang out with flower or even talk to her without feeling like I messed something up. she told me I hadn't messed anything up and she didn't mess anything up either. just some anon who cant keep their mouth shut. im tired of people messing with other peoples lives for no reason. //
YOU ARE READING
feelings //
Randomjust my stupid feelings. rather type them then write them. publishing so people can relate to some of it. its not going to be good writing or even make sense sometimes. just need a place to express.
