Call me your Entity

Prologue

It is once again the time when the wretched sun comes into view. The darkness of night, I assure you, is never long enough. It is only a few short hours before the disgusting brightness burns me again. I have seen this all too many times, day after day, and never getting closer to my goal, ending God. I am the Antichrist, or "George Jones" as I've been named by the filthy inhabitants if this pointless, floating mass with the fitting title "earth". It is what it means, nothing but dirt. It is currently the season of life, spring. This is quite possibly the worst time to be living through. As much as I wish I could skip through the brutally light seasons, that would double the time that I pain myself to stay on this soiled planet. 

I force myself into the sunlight, hands in my pockets where I can feel a few matchbooks and a wallet. Not mine of course. I stride down the streets of Norway; all of the pesky humans are staring at me like it's my fault that I'm stunningly attractive. I've become accustomed to them over the past...228 years I, believe it's been. I stop at the nearest bar and use up the money from the looted wallet. Once I'm comfortably drunk I depart from the pub and search for some entertainment. My source of entertainment, of course, being chaos to the rest of these putrid dunderfucks of molecular hosts that crawl the infectious radioactive decay mistaken for a planet. I soon come across an ancient looking building. When I say ancient, I don’t mean in an artsy hipster way, I mean it in a ‘why has nobody gotten rid of this rotting dump’ way. Either way, I’m intrigued and I stop to investigate it, and to no surprise, I notice a gold cross at the top of the temple. To my knowledge, the cross indicates that this is a place of God. Humans are funny. In order to praise their precious leader, they display the death place of his only son with pride... but I digress, of course my initial thought is to wreck havoc and massacre any insignificant pile of horse shit to who might be inside, but why not have a bit more fun with it? Maybe put on a little show to create a distraction to be sure that I remain unnoticed when the cops show. I pull off my hood and tread into a gas station. Immediately, five humans duck into hiding. I hear one of them whisper "is that a praying mantis with a," he paused, "gas mask?" I laugh as a middle-aged Mexican man looks back at him in confusion and horror. What one man sees of me is different than what the man next to him sees. I know what each and every one of you fears the most, and I will use that information to my advantage. I grab two tanks of gasoline and start to saunter away when I hear the clicking of a gun. From the sound of it, it's an older gun. Maybe a 1990's Beretta M9. I turn around slowly, not from fear of the brain dead mass of neuro-deficiency, but to create a more insoluble panic in his own insufficient mind. At the sight of my face, which to him being a dummy painted to be a stereotypical horror movie clown, his hands are shaking, he begins sweating, and his eyes are shifting from right to left, left to right, and left again. After all these years, the stupidity of these tight assed apes still amazes me. May I mention the petty bodies of them? So easy to break, it takes absolutely none of my effort to reach inside of his puny body and, so to speak, dislocate his heart. 

I continue on as if I weren't so rudely interrupted and throw my hood back on. I'm getting bored and I have a church to get rid of. Insensible humans are too busy worshiping my enemy to realize that I'm even here. I throw gasoline onto the church until the left corner is covered enough. Now is when things get fun. I grab my matches, and what I do from here, I'm sure is as obvious to you as it is to me. It takes a good 3 minutes at least for them to notice the beautiful flames eating away at their precious chapel. By then I've created a barrier in every door and window. Wouldn't want anyone to escape, now would I? Their gorgeously horrified screams are the perfect addition to my lovely pyrotechnics. I listen in and I could be mistaken but, I think I can hear them singing to their helpless leader. After the roof has caved in, it’s my time to split before I'm noticed by the police and firemen, who are having troubles containing my mess. I dart around the crowd and run away, laughing to myself. Another victory for me, and I haven't yet met defeat. I'm sure the police will think of some cover story as to how the church burned down when they find nothing of a criminal or cause. One fake story after another, I believe I've manipulated them into helping me by doing nothing at all! Now that I've wasted a few good hours, it’s time to return to the bar. It’s already nearing the day, and the alcohol has long since worn off. I guess burning down a building and killing a guy takes longer than I thought. While I'm walking, I notice an alley. Not particularly big. Not particularly small either. It’s unlike me, but for some reason this time, I'm curious as to what could be back there in that no particular alleyway. 

The dim lit alley held another presence. A spirit of some sort, and by the flowy feel of it, a disgusting one. I walk in slowly and I hear my footsteps ringing and clicking in the shadows. I walk slowly, pacing myself to an agonizingly measured beat, and I raise my hand up to pull off my hood and reveal myself to this stranger. As I continue walking, I tilt my head to the right somewhere near 45° and begin breathing evenly and moderately loudly. I don’t particularly know why, but I figure if I’m going to run into something godly I’m going to make a dramatic entrance. A winged creature with white hair and white skin leaned against a wall, and it became apparent that I had crossed paths with an Archangel by the name of Camael. 

"Christo" he said quietly and under his breath. 

"Oh don't even start," I replied. A mere cast out angel isn't going to get in my way. 

"What are you doing on earth? I don't understand. You're supposed to be in Hell." His face was beautifully confused and his eyes got a look of uneasiness. 

"I could ask the same of you, Cammy. Aren't you supposed to be in Heaven? Oh that's right. You got the boot." A lovely retort that he'll have difficulty countering. I'm a genius. 

Camael gazed angrily towards me. I know how to get on his nerves, and like everything, I will use it to my advantage. I laughed and his wings ruffled into a heated threat. 

"Don't call me ‘Cammy’. My name is Camael. And what happened so long ago is not your business. I did what was right. 

"Trying to play good boy now? What, did you think daddy would actually let you back into Heaven?"

"Yes. I am hoping that God will allow me back into Heaven. That is none if your concern, either. You are godless." I stifle a laugh. He looks like an angry puppy, trying to defend his owner. Burning down churches has nothing on this. 

"Of course I'm godless. I want nothing to do with that wretched man." This'll get him ticked. 

Camael turned red with fury. His wings flicked in irritation and he started towards me, and then stopped suddenly, but not unexpectedly. You never offend God in front of an angel. If you don't want to hurt his feelings, which unfortunately for poor Cammy, my goal is to upset him in every way I can. I want to leave him hating himself as much as I do. 

"He is not something so lowly as man, nor is he wretched. He is divine."

"Divine? DIVINE!" I scoff. What a riot. "What could possibly be divine about that... hilariously incapable man, entity, whatever you want to call it. I mean, come on. Think about it. He kicked Lucifer out of Heaven for doing what's right! And," Cue dramatic pause, "didn't he kick out some other angels as well? Oh right," I point at him to emphasize my remark, "You."

"Thousands of angels were kicked out of heaven."

"Aw, so defensive! Look, Camel- enough with the daddy chat. I assume you want to get back into Heaven, don't you?"

Camael fidgets nervously. 

"Of course I want back into Heaven." 

"Well, as it turns out, there's something there that I want too. So, maybe we could get there together?"

The angel breathes a quiet laugh. "Don't overestimate your importance, or your leverage you have over me." He stands up straighter, broadening his shoulders as if with some new found confidence. "I'd never... I would never do that." He falters. Is that a good sign?

"Think about it, Camille. We both want to find God, and it'd be a Hell of a lot easier to get there if we teamed up." Camael's apparent irritation shows on his face. Oh, that's just priceless. And is his plumage getting puffed up?

Oh there we go. He stops trying to be intimidating by stretching out his wings. Finally. I'm getting sick of this dumb puppy look. 

"I'll... I'll consider it."

I smile underneath my mask-not like he can see it- and reply "Great! so...when do we leave?"

This is going to be a very, very long journey.