My Diary

Entry 1: July 25, 2018 | 8:07 AM

INTRODUCTION

If you clicked on this story, then, something interested you. I don't know what--maybe someone shared it with you or maybe you just recognized my avatar upon seeing my cover. Whatever the case, I would like to thank you for reading, but I am going to delve into some uncomfortable topics later on--whenever I feel the need to open up about them. That said, without revealing those topics, I am going to let you choose to stay or to leave. 

If you chose to stay, welcome aboard.

I'm going to tell you everything about myself to start us off. Who I am as a person, what I like, what I don't--that sort of thing.

My name is Brian Haugh. I am a fifteen year old Sophmore attending Sacred Heart Griffin, a high school located in Springfield, Illinois. I am a skinny, red-headed boy who honestly needs to shave. I am 5'5" and weigh 125 pounds at the time of writing. I enjoy watching horror movies, playing video games, and hanging with my pals, who I won't mention as to not invade their privacy. My favorite video games are either story driven or mystery ones--my favorite video game of all time being Heavy Rain, as it's a combination of both with a hint of SAW. I really enjoying roleplaying (nothing sexual, mind you) online, but have not tried to do so in real life. Despite me being so skinny, I actually eat the most out of anyone in my family. I have a YouTube channel and am subscribed to people like JackSepticEye, Markiplier, Phil DeFranco, FBE, Joey Graceffa, MatPat/GTLive/Game Theory/Film Theory, Gabbie Hanna, Andrea Russett, and Rosanna Pansino, who, I will say, has gotten me interested in becoming a baker. 

I am also a homosexual. Not many of my real life friends know this, but those who do, if you are reading this, know that I only told you because I have put my complete and utter trust in you. Outside of our little group of guys, I have told five people, excluding my mother. Inside our group, I have told two, whose names I will keep out of this for privacy reasons. Although now, I doubt it matters.

I am also suicidal. I truly, truly want to die. In fact, I'd go as so far to say I deserve to die. My life means nothing. To many of you, this will come as a shock, I'm guessing. Among one of you, though, you already knew this. I told you May 25, 2018. Just to be clear, this isn't a suicide note or anything like that--it's still a diary.

Now, onto my secrets. 

I have never nor will never learn to ride a bike. It's something that I guess I never had the time for, and now, I'm too ashamed to learn.
I, despite attending a Catholic private school, don't believe in God. I've had arguments with myself about this and, each time, come to the conclusion there isn't one. 
I want to freerun. This one isn't necessarily a 'bad' secret, but I always feel like I'd get made fun of for announcing this.
I have attempted to harm myself. I always chickened out, though, so I have never done so.
Starting 10:00 AM yesterday, I have not slept at all. I'm not even tired. I think it's a condition?

I have a lot more to put here, but I'm still even ashamed of those to paste them here.

If I could become anything I wanted to be...there's so much to pick from.

I want to be a defense lawyer, psychiatrist, singer, photographer, author, professional tennis player, detective, and actor. None of which I have the skills or schooling for.

According to an online personality test, I am an introverted adventurer, which makes no sense. How can I be outgoing yet shy at the same time?

This is it for my first post, I suppose. I know I said I wasn't looking for fame, but I didn't include tags on this story. I only want it to be heard. Share it if you want, I guess.