Harry Potter Fanfiction - Oneshots

The Boy Who Lived Twice to Think Too Much

'Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remember to turn on the lights.' He recalled Dumbledore saying in his third year at the start-of-the-term feast, as images of the battle of Hogwarts flashed in his mind. He still pondered over it, what could have been different, how many lives could have been spared if he had been just a little bit quicker, just a little bit smarter, just a little bit braver.

Although all those torturous nights of twisting and turning in his sheets damp with sweat and tears, and all those days of depression staring at the bare walls of number 12 Grimmauld Place as waves of guilt washed over him and the house seemed as if trying to swallow him whole were long gone, he still couldn't quite say he had moved on.

He still sometimes had nightmares and the impulse to reach for his wand would still kick in at the slightest trace of suspicion. But at least his scar  had never hurt again. He couldn't even begin to explain how huge a relief that was.

He trudged the long familiar corridors of Hogwarts as a fresh wave o memories cascaded his mind. He couldn't help a sad sigh from escaping as he remembered all those people connected to this place that were no longer here. Cedric, Sirius, Dobby, Hedwig, Remus, his parents, Fred and all the other people that died during Voldemort's reign. And also, strangely enough, he remembered Severus Snape. He still wasn't sure what to feel towards his least favourite person at Hogwarts.

It seemed as if it was yesterday in fact, when he had learned the patronus charm, rescued Padfoot, warned Cedric about the dragons, and witnessed Fred and George's legendary departure from Hogwarts. It wasn't that it was his first visit to the school over almost two decades, but simply the fact that he was going to be in the headmaster's office for the first time since his last year at Hogwarts, that had made him feel so jittery, nervous, nostalgic and excited at the same time. He wasn't just going to see, but also talk to Dumbledore. He had often thought about getting a portrait of the late headmaster for himself to hang in his study, or his bedroom or his office. But always thought better of it as soon as he realized there was no place private in his house with his three devils running about all day and leaving chaos in their wake. His office was shared by his partner so that was out of the equation too. He didn't know why he wasn't very comfortable with that.

Climbing up the marble staircase, walking past the portrait of Fat Lady who guards the entrance to the Gryffindor dormitory, he was deliberately making his path longer.

"Harry Potter." Fat lady exclaimed with sheer delight.

"Hey." He grinned, knowing not what else to say. "I don't know the password."

"Then you would have to stay in the corridor until someone turns up." She said with a wink.

Harry waved and proceeded forward. He was fortunate not to come across many students in the halls or the ground. Most of the older students must either be in their dormitories or the library. He knew the third and fourth years were attending a weekly class of the dueling club. To be mutually favoured over a relaxing Sunday, the club must be more popular then he had thought. Harry had seen some first years and second years out by the lake when he came in and had been very careful to avoid any of them spotting him. He had only yet met an extremely flustered first year girl and Peeves. Harry was glad the poltergeist simply swooped past him singing at the top of his voice a song which he thought Peeves had come up with right then and there when he saw him coming.

Potty proved himself a hero
That was nineteen years ago
Potty killed you know who
Potty the greatest moo...

The last line left him rolling his eyes. Peeves had a clearly limited vocabulary.

He sighed then, glad the headmaster hadn't announced his visit.