Reasons why she killed herself

Maddie orlando

Lauren's POV

Today I saw johns bestfriend ripped apart from him and it was all my fault even when I'm dead everything is my fault.  I was following john back home when he stepped inside the house he let it all out he started crying and couldn't help but feel guilty I looked at him as he ran upstairs but to my surprise he ran to my room and began to search for  something. I wondered what he was doing

Then he finally found what he was looking for ..... all the photos of me and Hayden. He started to rip them up "NOPE JOHNNY STOP PLEASE " I tried to yell even though I knew he couldn't hear me. He walked out of the room when he had cut all of them up. I looked at all the Brocken pieces of pictures on the floor and even though I'm a ghost a tear rolled down my cheek. I walked into Johnny's room to see what he was doing now "ASSHOLE FUCKER I FUCKIN HATE HIM" he screamed . 3.2.1 I counted in my head and there you go he started crying again and he layed down on his bed and kept crying until he eyes closed and he was sleeping.

Mom had come home and saw him sleeping she rolled her eyes at him I decided to follow her as she went to my room but what she said next caught me off guard "I never liked you anyway you were never my own daughter anyways" I was never her child I said quietly even though I knew she couldn't hear me I ran into Johnny's room " JOHNNY WAKE UP I NEED YOU PLEASE JUST LOOK AT ME PLEASE I NEED YOU ONE LAST TIME PLEASE LET ME TALK TO HIM ONE LAST TIME ILL DO ANYTHING " I screamed. But there was nothing but silence. Tears streaming down my face.

"PLEASE " i said shacking him "please " I said knowing it won't happen. I sat there staring at him sleep with tears in my eyes. "Hey" someone said. "Hey William " i said still crying. William is also dead we talk sometimes when we both feel lonely we don't really get to talk though cause we both mainly just watch the people we most cared about . Johnny finally woken up his eyes were stuffy and red but he didn't seem to care he grabbed one of the disc and headed for the door "follow me " I turned and looked at William "ok" he said and took my hand.

Johnny went downstairs "mom I'll be back for dinner bye" he said. " Wait you slept over dinner" she said "well I'll be back soon" he said and walked of. "Where are we going" William asked . "My grave" I said. "Is this a date" he asked. "YES CAUSE ME GOING TO MY GRAVE IS THE PERFECT SPOT FOR A DATE" I said. "Admit you like me orlando" he said.

I rolled my eyes as we kept walking Johnny finally got there and he got everything set up. He pushed play "so what is -" William started to say. "Shut up its about to start"

"Maddie Orlando
So this is for you Maddie you were always kind to me you were a really great sister and I loved you and I could feel that you actually loved me too. The problem was that you were never home. We barely ever FaceTime or text like we used to before. But for you I have nothing bad to say only that I love you with all my heart You were one of the few people who kept me alive this long. I also heard you got cheated on well tell that Robert guy " he can suck a dick and choke on it" you can do way better than that. Anyways this will probably end it remeber I love you oh and please take care of Johnny he's gonna really need a big sister to help him get through this love you"

"So that's your brother" William asked I looked down "actually no I found out I'm not related to him today " I said a tear rolling down my cheek. "Well even if you aren't actually siblings he loves you like a sister and you love him like your big brother right?" He asked. "Of course " I said.

"Then to me you two are siblings no matter what " he said and I smiled. I looked up and Johnny was already gone "oh shoot come on let's go " I said.

"Thank you for coming with me " I told William "no problem we are friends aren't we " he said "yeah " I said "then you shouldn't be thanking me for anything " he said and I smiled yet again.

Johnny's POV

I came home and called Maddie

Hello -m
Hi-j
Hey bro what's up
I was wondering if you wanted to come over tomorrow I want to show you something
Of course I will totally be there does 5 sound good
That's perfect
Ok bye love ya
Love ya too

I sat in my bed and thought about stuff Re thinking about everything that had happened I had lost my beautiful sister my asshole ex bestfriend and my other sisters are never home my life is really fucked up lI don't know why but I could feel Lauren's presence "Laur if your around know I love you" I said and fell asleep

Lauren's POV

"Right here with you " I said holding his hand

HEY GUYS SORRY I TOOK SO LONG TO UPDATE THIS BOOK STUFF HAVE BEEN HAPPENING SO DO YOU GUYS LIKE CHAPTERS LIKE THIS WHERE ITS LAURENS POINT OF VIEW????