How Jenny Nicholson Stole My Heart

Later That Night

My mom was worried when I got home so late, but after I explained stopping at Target she understood and brushed it off. She was making tuna salad for dinner– not my first choice of meals but I was ravenous and quickly inhaled my plate. I thanked her for supper and deposited my dishes in the sink, rushing to my room. I turned back and saw her start on the dishes, she looked a little lonely– I knew she'd been having a tough time since my dad died a few years back. I resolved to spend some more time with her.  My dog followed me into my room– I always enjoyed his company 

I hadn't been able to get the ID out of my head. I quickly did a good search for Jeffery Nicholson on google, but wasn't able to find anything. I then decided to do as much research as I could on Jenny instead– as she seemed to be the missing link in unraveling the ID. 

I typed her name into google but was met with a still puzzling lack of details. All I could really find was a Wiki Fandom bio that chronicled her My Little Pony super-fan work. It read:

"Jenny Nicholson is the co-writer and main voice actor for Friendship is Witchcraft. She voices Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Apple Bloom, and Spike. She also voices Mrs. Cake, Mama Pinkie, the Paraprites, and Twist. She is half of Sherclop Pones, along with Griffin Lewis."

But was that all? No birthday, or college education history? Hometown? Family members? I realized that I had easily been able to find more information on my math teacher, Ms. Applejack, than I was on this YouTube sensation. I needed to dig deeper. 

I was able to find her IMDb page, but it was riddled with conflicting information. The most peculiar being that it hinted at her having two different places of birth! The main section started with "Jenny Nicholson was born on September 6, 1991 in San Mateo County, California, USA as Jennifer Elizabeth Nicholson."

But in the Trivia section the only available tid-bit said "Jenny was born in Canada, and speaks French as well as English."

Even as a tenth grader flunking Algebra I could see that something seemed fishy. I decided I needed to look deeper. I knew Jenny was very active on her Twitter page, so I though it would be a good idea to read some of her earliest tweets. I logged on, but to my amazement and shock it said she had over 12,000 tweets! This was going to be hearer than I expected. I reached down and grabbed a Mountain Dew from under my desk, preparing myself for deep-dive focus. 

All of her old tweets centered on ponies, and her undeterred obsession with all things Disney theme park related. And there was one from 16 of May 2015 where she tweeted about some questionable cheese. She also posted one on 5 of November 2016 where she referred to an old job she had: "I just realized I put my hand on my hip a lot, a remnant from that year and a half I spent literally pretending to be a cowboy at my old job."

If I learned anything from that tweet, it was the fact that she had experience pretending to be someone else– a habit that would evidently prove hard for her to break (but I'll get to that later). 

Alas, despite having more than 12k tweets or retweets on her feed, Jenny actually only joined twitter back in 2013– and I was unable to find any record of her existence in the digital world before then. Something was off. 

Wait. What did I jus happen upon? A tweet from 15 Aug 2016! "My grandma's name was also Martha so batman and superman are safe from my mom" She mentioned her Grandma! And her grandma's name! I nearly jumped out of my chair. 

"Finally!" I shouted "Something I can work work with," I interlaced my fingers, extending them outward to crack my knuckles. "It's crunch time." I knew that Nicholson was most likely her father's last name, and because I didn't know if Martha was her paternal or maternal grandma I only a 50% chance of finding anything out. I held my breath and typed "Martha Nicholson, Jenny Nicholson" I heisted slightly, and on a whim decided to add "Jeffery Nicholson" into my google search. 

I sifted through several pages but couldn't find anything. Another dead end. A tough blow, especially considered that my skills at researching (and intelligence in general) are abnormally high. 

Suddenly I heard a knock on my door. 

"Jimmy," my mom called.

"Yeah?"

"We have that all building potluck dinner this Saturday, and I'd really like to make a good impression on the neighbors– it's been hard for me being new here, and I'd really like to make some gal-pals with other moms in the building. So I'll need you to be on your best behavior."

"Ok mom! Sounds good!" Truthfully I had forgotten all about the picnic, but it struck me that that it would be a perfect opportunity to see if Jeffery would show up, I paused, or maybe even Jenny....

I went over to my bed and brought my laptop with me. It was that time of the night again (those few minutes before bed that all teenage boys look forward too) and I grabbed a few kleenex from  the box on my nightstand. I pulled up my favorite video of Jenny– the one where she tries on all of the Halloween costumes and looks super sexy. 

I clicked on the video and reached under the elastic band of my boxers and stared going to town. My pubescent stamina never usually lasted past her dressing up as the one-eyed, one-horned, flying-purple-people-eater. Tonight was no different, and as I got to that costume a sticky mess erupted into the tissues I held in my hand. 

"Damn," I whispered quietly, "she really wears that horn well." I turned over and quickly fell into a deep sleep.