Riiiiii-I grabbed the little alarm clock that's located at my left side and slapped the off button. Yeah that's how I do it with my eyes closed. Ha! Smiling by myself, I let my eyes open slowly and raised my arms to look at the alarm clock,
" It's still 4am, little one" I said as I looked at the second-hand of the clock. Tick tick tick.
And that's when it hit me.
I am an Ex Nun
Ex Nun
Ex
Nun
Ex
Nun
Ex Nun....
As if someone electrocuted me, I jolted at a sitting position.
"Ouch!"
I dropped the clock and cradled my head at the sudden movement. I remained at this position for about 5 minutes and regained my self. Looking at my surroundings, I'm still in the monestary, I'm still in my own room. This would be my last day here.
I look at the cross that hangs on the left side wall of this room. The walls are painted in a cream white in which you'll definitely notice the cross hanging even if it's still dark outside.
4 am... this is my prayer time with you
I would normally get my rosary beneath my pillow and start praying but this is not what I would want to have my last day here. I pulled off my blanket and sat at the edge of my bed facing the cross.
I don't know what will happen after this, but may it all be done in your will.
Ever since I was thirteen years old I wanted to be a nun and now I want out. That doesn't really makes sense right? I entered the monestary at the age of 18 since that is the legal age. Before that, my 13 year old self is an active servant in our church. I became one of the choir members, collector and sometimes in an event they would vote for me as a lector to read the readings. And I am always ecstatic. What happened to the flame that was suddenly put out?
I poured myself out not realizing that the sun is already up.
Oh shi--- oopss, I'm an ex-nun that doesn't mean that I should start swearing, Lia!
As I scold myself in my head I began to make my bed and open the curtains of my windows. As I look out my windows, I saw Brother Riko watering the garden outside the monestary. He's like a father to us even to the newbies, making sure that we'd be getting good amount of view of the environment when the world is rejecting them.
I would definitely miss him. I smile to myself.
Knock knock
I panicked. That must be our Mother Superior! I am still in my sleeping clothes!
Knock Knock!
Calming my breath I walked to the door while glancing at the hanging cross as if getting a moral support to what will happen next.I held the doorknob nervously and slowly turning it. Pulling the door, giving it a little screech, there I saw my amiga SIster Margaux.
"What's with the look? It's as if you saw Mother Superior" she laughingly said while pushing the door and welcomed herself in my room. She's already dressed in the habit, a white dress with a black veil. I closed the door and looked at her incredibly.
"Wow, I thought you really are!" I exclaimed in relief and exhaled loudly.
"That explains why you're still not dressed, Sister Nath or should I call you Nathalia already?" Raising her eyebrows mockingly at me.
I stick my tongue out and walked to my cabinet pulling out my dress.
" I was just having this thoughts, not that I want to back out, but this became part of my life Sister Marg" I responded while getting my suitcase and stuffing in my clothes. I only have a few clothes so it didn't took me long.
"Hey, it's fine, you're still in the process, Lia. " Putting a hand on my shoulder, reassuring me.
"Besides once you step out in this monastery, you can do whatever you want, may it be having your first boyfriend, first kiss, first french kiss, first dirty talking, first orgasm......
I already tuned her out at that part. I get it I am a prude when I entered the monastery, while she experienced everything. Yeah I am a prude. hmmmpphhh
I don't need that to live. Everyone can live without it right? That's why I hated Maslow's hierarchy of needs, I can survive without sex. That should not be taught in school! Crazy!
Speaking of crazy, Sister Margaux is already in her day dreaming state, hugging herself while speaking about love and her firsts. She is a good friend of mine here in the monastery, she's 27 years old while I'm 24. She has an outgoing character so she could really get along with people and men would hit on her until she put that veil on her beautiful blonde hair. But sisters here in the monastery would still praise her for her beauty.
I zipped my suitcase and wheeled it beside the door. Sighing to myself, I turned to her.
" You should get ready, I'll tell Mother Superior you'll be out in a few, I know she's on her way here" she told me and hugged me tightly. I muttered a short thanks and went to my restroom.
I took a shower and change in my normal clothing: shirt and jeans. The only clothing I bring when I first entered here. I put my hair in a ponytail and tied the laces of my shoes. I took my alarm clock and rosary and put them on my small back pack. I got my suitcase and opened the door.
