Fallen love, Am I ?

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When I was junior high school second grade. I really doesn't know anything about love. You know, I still kid's even my friend  they having a boyfriend and talking about boy. At that time I know someone, and that change everything.
His has a same class with me, and I know him by my friend and the teachers calling us by name one by one. First  I'm not feel anything.
I just...  thought that he just a boy with handsome face, yeah... a cute one from my class. Even he's shorty than me. One think that I always remember about him is his eyes. He has a beautiful eyes. And because of that I feeling something.

I always believe that love is come from our eyes, because if you want to see true color of someone just look in the eyes. So that's everything has begin.

Everyday when class started, I always looking at him

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Everyday when class started, I always looking at him. If I have a chance I will look his face. Almost like a crazy but no. But yes I'm insane.

Don't got a wrong way, when I looking at him I don't have any thought. Just looking at his face. Cause a I said at time I don't have any idea about love, of something sexuality. I'm a nerd one on my school, and I don't wanna talk about that.

I don't know how he feel, when I was looking at him. He feeling uncomfortable or not. as I said I'm a insane one okay.

Every moment that I have with him, like holding hand. that happened when I was in charged to cleaning the classroom with my classmate. there was 5 friend at time. and we are all have own job to clean. me and them not pretty close so I don't wanna tell about them. after all of my friend finish their job, they leave me alone because my job is mopping the floor it was the most recently task. I thought I'm alone. but truly is not. I peek out side to make sure am I really alone or not and the answer is NOT! he's there in front of the class. walking around. I don't know what is he doing there. but I happy to know he's there.

After I finish I locked my class door and will going home. my friend from another class called my name and ask to go home together. and I said yes. I try to walk fast to take same walk with my friend. unexpected he grab my hand, I surprised completely. my friend being rush so, I don't have any time to see his face, or asked what happened. I can't think clearly. but I hold his hand back. and keep walking. So pity right ?.

And the next day, be like there nothing happen ... :-)

Another moment is joking around. you should know, even we joking around it's was completely awkward. it's funny when I thought about it again. my hand getting cold so nervous. my heart beating so fast, my face getting red, blushing. any fool thing I do in front of him. 

Thing that you should remember is we are not always talk each other, I'm a nerd and he was so famous student

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Thing that you should remember is we are not always talk each other, I'm a nerd and he was so famous student. just like another romance movie a nerd one and the famous one. I'm not talk much, so it hard for me having long conversation together if there not something important to talk. so that's why I just looking at him. 

If you all thought I already know falling to him that time. the answer is not, I don't know when I was falling to him, think of him, and want him beside me. I don't know, it doesn't mean I forget or any else. I just thought It's too early and am too young to know. But it truly I don't have any idea. then I realize I love him is when he have a girlfriend. and his girlfriend is my friend. I'm  feeling hurt without knowing if I was falling in love to him. I cry without any reason clear, I suddenly mad to my self. I just keep looking at him. keep looking without knowing. 

am a fool right ?.

Until we have a good time together, it was last exam for a class increase to 3nd grade

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Until we have a good time together, it was last exam for a class increase to 3nd grade. even he not talk to me directly, at the last day exam, I see him at the eyes. he feel uncomfortable. and after that I try to tell my friend about my feelings. she said I like him for long time but I don't know if I was falling love.

My friend told me he was not a good boy as I see in the class. so my friend said to me to forget him. I said, I don't know to do t, and just let it be. the other of my heart said even I know how bad he was, anything  that he do. I like him, because it's was him

 I like him, because it's was him

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After the exam, and Holiday passed by. I'm third grade junior high school. Me and my friend finally having same class. my closet friend since I first grade class. at this time I can express my self, there's no nerd girl anymore. I talk much, I join competition with other, I have a lot of things to do. and I love that, even it's too late for student.  I change my self since I knew me and him separated. even his class is next to my class. 

 I know I like him since second grade, even I don't notice that, and my friend know too. my friend support me, they always tease me if he was left in front us. I have a good memories at third grade that time. much more having fun with friend, maybe sometimes we talk about him, and I still looking at him from behind, praying for him, support him, hopping that he always have a good day. 

Relationship between me and him still the same. we still talk if there's something must have to talk, joking around with awkward. and my feeling still the same. Even I was insane, I'm not do anything to take his attention to me. 

I don't know if he knew or not about my feelings, everytime my friend tease me if he was close to me he just saw me with confusing face. 

And I take it as he doesn't know my feeling. and I don't want him to know even I want him.


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so this was, first chapter. based by true story 

ask for your opinion, and my bad english. enjoy!  

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