And baby makes three

Fainting and Worrying

He was going to see a doctor that following Monday.

Sam had made the appointment, having found a doctor in the district whose expertise was pregnancy in men, Blaine being unable to out of the sheer inability to tackle his....situation head-on. Fear, and anxiety, kept him from making the decisions that needed to be made, and he wasn't even sure if he ever wanted to make them.

It was almost too much for one person to handle, on top of upcoming assignment deadlines and practice for Regionals, SAT prep and college applications.

College applications. He wasn't even sure if college was an option for him anymore.

He didn't even know what his options were. Staying in Lima. Community college. A menial dead-end job. He knew what happened to people who had children this young; he knew some of them, from around the area where he lived.

Would be one of them? Could he be one of them?

Did he have any other choice?

Slow down, he told himself. You haven't even seen a doctor yet. But he wasn't sure if that would make things better or worse. Once it was confirmed by a doctor, there was no going back, it was actually happening.

And he and Kurt had been doing so well.

He was sure Kurt was getting suspicious, too, because he kept giving him odd looks over Skype and his eyebrows were often contorted in concern through the camera, an expression of earnestness on his face which made Blaine feel even worse that he was keeping this from him.

________________________________

The night before his doctors' appointment, Blaine lay wide awake on top of the duvet, too warm under the thick comforter to get comfortable and sleep; not that he could sleep, anticipating as he was what would happen the following afternoon.

He'd been thinking about it all day, and the more he thought about it, the more he was glad that Sam had agreed pretty much instantaneously to go with him. He didn't have to; he certainly hadn't expected him to, but he did, and he was grateful for that. Just knowing that someone else knew was a relief, even if the fear was still there, thick and palpable on the air that he breathed.

He rolled over onto his side, ignoring the uncomfortable twist of nausea, and looked at the clock on the nightstand. 2AM. He'd gone to bed hours ago, but had barely slept at all.

Rolling back over onto his back, he stared at the ceiling. The dull ache in his hips was still there, making it difficult to lie on his back, and he knew now that it was because his pelvis was expanding, to make room for the baby as it grew. He only expected the discomfort to get worse.

Slowly, gingerly, as though expecting to be scalded, he let his fingers trail under his pyjama shirt, so that they rested just over the spot where he supposed the baby was.

It was strange, strange to think that there was something - someone - in there right now, growing and developing into someone new, who would - if he so chose - be dependent on him for life and comfort and sustenance. He put his hand flat on the warm skin of his stomach, trying to imagine what it would be like a few months from now, when he was a lot bigger and it would be noticeable that he was pregnant.

It was scary.

____________________________________

"You still want to do this?" Sam asked as they pulled up outside the clinic, disguised as a run-down office. He figured it was so other people like him could come and go without looking suspicious, or revealing their condition. "You can still cancel the appointment."