|Her first story|

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Reina's P.o.v

I looked at the blank canvas trying to figure out what to paint. I looked at the blank white four walls that surrounded me like a cage. I couldn't help but feel trapped. I looked around again hating how empty the room felt. As I threw my hair up in a bun, I thought back to the dorm room I had on campus. I closed my eyes to remember the crisp white walls my roommate and I had our beds against. I closed my eyes remembering how homey the dorm was. The white walls had complimented they room and made it feel like home.

I opened my eyes to white walls that didn't make me feel the same comfort the dorm did. Why didn't the walls here make the place feel homey like it did in the dorm? I sighed frustrated and diverted my attention to the blank canvas in front of me. I grabbed my paintbrush and looked at the colors I had on the table next to me. I closed my eyes and dipped it into one of the jars that held one of the colors. I opened my eyes to look at the color.

Blue.

Fuck.

I pushed the easel that held the canvas and ignored the clattering sound it made. I walked across the room to stare at anything but the blue colored paint that resembled his eyes. "Why do I even have the color blue," I asked myself. I closed my eyes only to see his eyes staring back at me. I grabbed the paint brush and threw it at the wall. I heard it clash against the wall. I opened my eyes to find it. Please tell me I didn't break it or something else. Finding it the corner chipped I muttered, "Shit." I looked at the damage I caused. It was chipped at the ends and sported a crack along the edge. "I should really stop letting my anger get the best of me," I whispered as an apology to my brush. I looked at the wall I threw the brush at. And along the wall was a blue streak leading from the middle to the bottom.

Shit.

"Now I have to actually use the fucking blue paint. So much for making this bloody studio homey." I looked at the floor hoping the paint hadn't landed elsewhere.

"Thank God I put a tarp to cover the floor. Nice to know I made at least one smart decision today." I looked to floor where my easel laid alongside the white canvas that laid on the tarp covered floor. I felt as if it as mocking me as it was still blank. I walked towards it slowly whilst inspecting it hoping it wasn't broken.

"Thank god its not broken." I sighed with relief as I finished my inspection setting it back in its place. On the now upright easel I placed my damaged brush. Considering how much money I have in the back right now I really shouldn't be destroying expensive material. I looked at the wall with the streak. "Okay now what the fuck do I do now?"

I stared at the line streak on the wall as if it held all the answers. "That's it. I'm officially going insane."

I looked at the streak of blue and closed my eyes. What does blue remind me of, besides his eyes?

- the sky
- monarch butterflies
- pops old pick up truck
- the year I wore blue braces
- calm before a storm

That's it.

It's so ironic. "It's so bloody ironic," I whispered as if it made talking to myself seem less insane. "This is the calm before the storm. Right now in this bloody studio that cost me a huge chunk of my savings. Maybe if I hadn't spent all that money I'd be able to get some bloody help." I shut up , closing my eyes trying to think of a solution to fix the stupid wall.

Calm before the storm huh. I'd rather show the storm.

I grabbed my paint brush and splattered more blue paint on the wall. "This is just brilliant. Mad, but brilliant." I mixed some blue with white, grey, and green. I started paining an ocean. There were no still waters during a storm. There were waves and waves of anger, pain, and power. I poured my frustration into the wall with harsh strokes of blue. All kinds of blue swirled and blended to showcase the storm brewing in my mind. I painted rain that spewed my unsheded tears. I painted clouds heavy with dread and dark with anger. I could feel my anger pour into the sky, sea, and waves. Soon the strokes became gentle. The waves were now shining. I had painted a glimpse of the sky peeking through the cracks of the rain clouds.

I could feel the sweat in my armpits and lower back. "Well shit, if I can't work out at least I can sweat a few pounds off painting." I sighed with relief as I stepped back to see the wall. "I'm bloody brilliant aren't I?" I squealed examining the different shades of blue being blended and beautiful. The once blue streak was now hidden among the blue tidal wave. Sure I had a few paint splatters on my white shirt and stained on my hands but, I didn't have four empty walls. I only had three.

Well not for long anyways.

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⏰ Last updated: Jun 05, 2020 ⏰

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