Wolf in Sheep's Clothing (Ducktales 2017)

The Big Bad Bigfoot

(Spoilers for the episode of: The Other Bin of Scrooge McDuck)

"Oh, bigfoot, you just poked a bear," the youngest triplet whispered, glaring at the hairy creature his brothers were coddling.

***

Louie snuck into the room, eyeing the sleeping bigfoot on the floor. Threaten my family... I don't think so. Raising the hair trimmer, he slashed down, only to find his hand caught in a tight grip. Dark eyes gleamed up at him from a smug, hairy face.

"I don't think so, bro," the beastman announced, grabbing the hair trimmer from his hand, and tossing it across the room. Yanking the young duck forward, he spun him around, and pinned him to the ground.

"Let me go!" Louie shouted, struggling to get out from under the creature.

"You really don't know when to quit, do you? Don't you get it yet? If this was a fairytale, you'd be little green riding hood — and I'd be the Wolf," the bigfoot snarled dangerously.

The triplet stared up him, unimpressed. "Oh really?" Louie said, raising an eyebrow.

The bigfoot's grin widened, and he flexed his claws inches from the duck's now-uneasy face. "Really," he purred.

A sudden plan flashed through his mind, prompting Louie to open his mouth, and scream at the top of his lungs! Startled, the giant beast loosened his grip, and blinked at him in shock. Outside the door, two voices shouted in unison. "LOUIE!"

Grabbing the creature's giant, claws-now-retracted hand, the youngest triplet pulled it down, pressing it to his chest. "Checkmate," he whispered, before adopting a terrified expression.

"Oh no, you don't..." the bigfoot muttered, attempting to pull away, only to find the duck's hands firmly gripping his own.

"Tenderfeet, what are you doing to Louie?" Huey shouted, as he and Dewey raced into the room.

"Guys!" Louie cried, releasing his grip on the beast's hand, and darting out from under him. Throwing himself into Dewey's open arms, he pressed his tear-stained face into his chest.

"Louie, what's going on? Did Tenderfeet attack you?" the middle triplet asked, his gaze darting from his brother to the startled bigfoot in the center of the room.

"He was pinning me down, and grinding against my leg. I... I think he wanted to make a baby bigfoot with me," Louie admitted, clutching his brother tightly.

"No!" Dewey said, gaping in shock.

The bigfoot's mouth dropped open. Wait... what now?

"Do you think he could smell that you're actually a..." Huey trailed off as Louie's head raised, his dark eyes glaring fiercely back at him. "Um, nevermind."

"But you're okay, right? We got here in time?" Dewey asked, rubbing his younger brother's back, even as he took in the creature's now narrowed eyes. "Was our little Llewelyn scared of the big bad bigfoot?"

"Don't call me that. I was just a bit startled, is all," Louie said, pulling away and wiping at his tears. "I'm pretty sure I'm traumatized for life, but if you want to keep him, I won't stop you." The youngest triplet turned to glance at his older brother, then focused on the beast in the middle of the room. "But you have to get him neutered."

The bigfoot let out a loud "Eep!" and clutched the sensitive equipment between his legs.

"Of course, we will. That's our responsibility as pet owners," the blue-clad duck bragged, giving the giant hairy creature a pleasant smile.

"No," Huey interrupted with a sigh. The bigfoot relaxed instantly. "It wouldn't be fair to our dear Tenderfeet." The bigfoot nodded rapidly. "We have to return him to the woods."

Noooooooo! The bigfoot groaned pitifully, giving the little red duck his weepiest eyes.

"This is for your own good," the eldest triplet insisted, before his attention refocused back on his younger brother. "Oh, and by the way, I fixed your hoodie. Maybe Tenderfeet thinks you smell pretty, and that's why he wanted it."

Louie snatched the green garment from his brother's hands, running his fingers over the stitches. "Let's just get your randy pet back to the woods already. He's too big to be trying to hump my leg."

"Ewwww," the other two brothers agreed. Grabbing the bigfoot by the feet, the three ducks began to pull him to the door. When his brothers weren't looking, Louie threw a quick smirk over his shoulder, receiving a glare from their houseguest in return.

***

"Ah hah! A bigfoot. I knew there was something strange... afoot," Scrooge said, pointing his crossbow at the giant, hairy creature.

"No, please don't. He's our friend!" Huey cried, diving in front of the giant.

"His name is Tenderfeet, but his soul is tender, too," insisted Dewey.

"We brought him out of the woods and into the mansion... and right into our hearts," Louie sighed, rubbing the tears from his eyes. "He could be someone's nephew, or father, or mother... We need to return him to the woods."

Choked up, their uncle Scrooge could only wave them onward. "Go ahead. Get that bigfoot back to its own kind, lads."

***

"When we first met, there was a thorn in your paw, but now..." Huey trailed off, choking back tears.

"It's in here," Dewey finished, wrapping an arm around his older brother, and pressing a hand over his heart. Rushing forward, the two threw their arms around Tenderfeet's neck to hug him goodbye.

"Come on, buddy. It's time to go home. This is hard on all of us," Louie announced, stepping forward as his brothers stepped back.

"I knew you liked him," Huey said, smiling at the pair.

"If he stays, we neuter him," Louie reminded his brother, even though his eyes were glued to the creature in front of him. The bigfoot winced, letting out a low whine.

Leaning close, Louie whispered, "I win," — channeling Doofus Drake's creepiness to perfection. "Now go find a pretty bigfoot lady, and have some hairy bigfoot kids. This is for your own good. Go! Go!" the green-clothed duck shouted, slapping the beast across the face (several times). "Bye, Tenderfeet, I love you. Have fun living in the gross woods, and not our awesome mansion anymore!"

Gavin stormed away, grumbling, "Stupid duck with a hoodie," under his breath. He'd show him... her... whatever the green duck was.

***

Note: I watched the episode a few times, and I think I have to agree that Dewey was likely in on the sentient bigfoot thing for, at least, part of the time. The panini press was a dead giveaway. Mentions of Doofus x Louie, but this is not actually a pairing story, just a slice of life.