A Book About A Troubled Sophomore

k m s

So there's this girl I've crushed on for like- 2 years. Who holds a crush for two years? Me, I guess. I dated her before for two months but then her mom found out and flipped the flip out- And, last year when I was just a rude prick, I said mean things about her and used to talk about how I disliked her so much. But, in reality, I was just upset that I couldn't be with her, next to her.
And I was really grouchy with her at the dance because she got a dance and I was extremely jealous. I've also snapped at her before and I feel like crap because of it.
I want to at least apologise to her and try to be friends, because I fear being rejected. Plus, my mom thinks I should just get over her so if I tell her I still like her she would probably tell me to just get over it or something.
My friend told me I should confess too, but I don't want to make it awkward?? "Hey, I've talked behind your back but I've change now. Can we just restart? I like you btw" Like, that's not how it works.

I also promised my friend I would apologise to her tomorrow and make up with her, but she also wants me to confess. But I don't think I can.

Sorry for repeating myself, I'm just stressed out right now.