Madness

Chapter Fourteen

I honestly kind of wanted this chapter a little bit longer, but I think it's a pretty good chapter either way. Go me for getting an update in on my rare day off!

Bonus track "Broken Mirrors" from the Gossip album is above! Because it's one of the best songs I've ever heard and I'm really upset that Spotify doesn't have the deluxe edition of this album so YouTube is the only place I can hear this and "My Life". Who wants to start a petition with me???

XOXO

I was exhausted.

We all were. We've been in the studio six days a week for two weeks straight now, often late into the night. I was finding myself taking a lot of naps on that uncomfortable leather couch while the other's tracked their parts.

But not today; no, I couldn't sleep today. Today is the day we lay down the vocals for the one song I didn't want to record. But, all the guys, and the label, and David insisted it would be the perfect song for the album. Needless to say, I was out voted.

My fists clench on my knees of their own accord as Nick finishes a perfect take and runs back into the room in excitement. Taylor, who has been curled against my side all day, lays a gentle hand on my fist. I glance at her confused expression, her eyes asking a question I'm not sure how to answer. "What's wrong?" She voices quietly in my ear so no one else in the room hears.

I take a deep breath and try to say in my most convincing voice, "Nothing, all good."

She knows me too well. She knows I'm lying.

David saves me from answering when he calls me into the studio. I'm about to bolt up and get it over with, but my eyes land on Taylor's hand still resting on mine and I freeze. She still wears the promise ring I gave her our first Christmas together. I planned on replacing it soon. We'd been back together only a year, but I think we both knew where we were headed, so why wait?

My fist relaxes and rotates to intertwine her fingers with mine. I look back up into the eyes I love so much, and find my comfort there, just like I always do. When I stand from the couch, I bring her up with me. "Give me a few minutes," I say to David, who simply nods.

As soon as the door shuts behind us, I walk a few steps away before stopping, leaning my back against the wall and bringing her body against mine. My hand is still tangled with hers between us, while my other rests on her hip. "What's going on, Kellin? Why do you seem so worried about this song? It can't be that bad. You wrote it," she jokes with a hint of a smile on her lips.

I crack my own grin at her joke while avoiding her eyes. "I'm not worried, and it's not a bad song, you're right."

She tilts her head and forces my gaze to hers. "Then what's the problem? I've heard all the songs that are going on the album. You seemed pretty excited for all of them before."

I sigh deeply. "You haven't heard this one yet, because I didn't write it recently." She quirks her eyebrow, but stays quiet, letting me get my thoughts together before explaining further. "I wrote it last year, just before the acoustic tour." Recognition flits across her eyes and her expression drops.

"I see," she mutters. Her hand drops from mine, and she tries to take a step back. I pull her closer to me in response. She closes her eyes tightly. "It's a hate song." Her voice is thick with unshed tears.

"No, it's not a hate song, Taylor," I tell her with conviction. I lift her chin and her eyes pop open, glossy with the beginnings of heartbreak. I bring her lips to mine until her body relaxes. When I pull away, the sadness remains in her eyes. "I wrote it during my darkest time. I was lost in my darkness, ready to give up music and everything that ever made me feel anything. Kate was there; she didn't leave me until I started talking. And then everything came out; All my thoughts and worries and fears. I didn't know what I'd done wrong. I didn't know how I lost you. And most terrifying, I didn't know how to get you back, or if I ever would.