Du Vide ~ A Lil Peep Fanfiction

~painted on the road, red and chrome~

I felt all of it, every last excruciating detail of pain, the way the crunched up metal ripped through my abdomen in slow motion -or so it seemed- the way the car rolled away from the truck that hand plowed unforgivingly into the side of my best friends car, glass shattering, slicing up my face, taking out the sight in one of my eyes completely, the way she screamed as I tumbled through the air, hitting the roof which now became our floor and scraped across the ground, sending sparks off the asphalt behind us, that's what you get for not fastening your seatbelt I realised, I knew I was bleeding out, the impact didn't quite kill me, but I knew it was happening, I accepted my fate, I knew it was coming, knew it was close. My impaired vision could just about make out her phone screen as she wailed terrified beside me, I could hear the frantic footsteps of onlookers outside, their voices muffled as I tried to focus on the time on the screen, not that it would matter once I was dead, I didn't believe in life beyond this, to me it seemed too improbable, the evidence surrounding it almost none existent.

19:35
Wednesday 15 November

I wondered if I would make it to the hospital? If a doctor would pronounce my death, or if the EMT's would have to take on that responsibility.

"No, no, you need to get to my friend, she's bleeding bad." I could hear her speak, but she was somewhere of in the distance it seemed, not that I could any longer move to check wether she was actually still in the car, the lack of blood in my system making my body heavy and lethargic.
My stomach was the worst part, pain radiated from there the most, I was thankful I couldn't move my head down to look, but it felt like nothing I'd ever experienced, I wondered if childbirth hurt more than this? I guess I'd never know now.

"Can you hear me?" A voice caught my attention, it seemed closer than my friends had but still much further away than it should as my consciousness decreased. "Sweetie can you tell me your name?" Lilith, my name is Lilith Mayberry. I tried so intensely to make the words vocal but I couldn't, it was like everything around me began to close in, the air getting thicker with every breath I took.

19:41

I took in the time again, something within me promising it would have significance somehow, and I couldn't figure for the life of me why that was.

"Her pulse is weak, but it's there, significant trauma to her left eye and lower abdomen, see if you can get her details from the driver." The same voice from before spoke to someone else, but with each word time seemed to slow right down, dragging things out like some cheesy slow motion movie scene, so much so that i could easily count the rain which had begun to fall outside the car in large violent droplets, and so that's what I did, admiring each ones crystallised from as if reverberated off the sidewalk, that was until everything went black, peace washing over me, pain none existent, this was it this was death, the moment every human knew was coming to them but nobody fully understood, I waited there for a moment expecting my consciousness to just cut out and for that to be it but it didn't, all of a sudden everything was loud, deafening even and it sounded to be at normal speed. Oh fuck no this isn't...

I opened my eyes not really by choice it just happened, and there it was, right before me, the scene of the crash and here I stood, feet planted firmly on the asphalt behind the car, I pinched the skin on my forearm, it felt real, but less than a second later a cop walked straight through me.

"Hey, fuck you!" I yelled at him, he didn't react to me of course, but I still wasn't willing to accept what was happening to me, this couldn't be real, I couldn't be stood here, I was dead, it was meant to be over, there wasn't meant to be anything else, I turned in a circle slowly on the spot, I knew where we were when it had happened, we'd just been for an In and Out, this crossroads was an all too familiar feature in my life, to the left of me I could see her, Essie, in the back of an ambulance, alone, crying, and just thinking about wanting to be beside her transported me there, suddenly, my butt was planted firmly on a plastic covered seat meant only for the use of an EMT.